CREATING A SAFETY PLAN Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 4.3 Creating a safety plan RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:34 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Creating a safety plan not only when behaviour is harmful, but also when it is problematic, is often a good idea. It helps with thinking through possible scenarios, and working to prevent them. (See appendix 5 .) Making the safety plan in cooperation with the child is encouraged, to clarify the adult is there to support them and provide assistance so that they do not commit unfortunate acts, and to be in agreement of what kind of supervision and assistance is needed, who does what, etc.

SEXUALITY IN SCHOOL The Knowledge Promotion Reform 2020 emphasizes public health and mastery of life as one of three multidisciplinary subjects in school. The pupils will receive competence which, among other things, promotes good mental health and gives them the opportunity to make responsible life decisions. Relevant parts of the subject are, among others, sexuality and gender, media use, establishing your own boundaries as well as respecting others’ boundaries, and managing thoughts, emotions and relations (Udir, 2019). Illustration: Jens A. Larsen Aas RESSURSER LINK: (Life Mastery in norwegian class rooms) Website https://www.linktillivet.no/ Play It Right Teaching tools describing how to talk to youth and young adults about sexuality. Book: Folkehelse og livsmestring i skolen Ringereide og Thorkildsen, RVTS South, PEDLEX. https://www.pedlex.no/artikkel/flm19/folkehelse-og-livsmestring-i-skolen/ Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 1.3 Sexuality in school RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:40 Brain-based class leadership – a reflection 1.3 Brain-based class leadership RVTS Mid 00:00 / 09:40 In this audio recording you will hear special education teacher Kristin Larsen and teacher Kjersti Draugedalen’s reflections around “Brain-based class leadership”, and the importance of creating a safe environment for pupils in difficult situations. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Read a transcript of the audio recording Nils: Could we repeat how the different parts of the brain work. Kjersti: We are, in short, talking about this thing with the survival brain, the emotional brain and the logical brain. To learn we need the logical brain, but if we sense danger the survival brain will cut the connection to the logical brain. Nils: Meaning scared people aren’t capable of learning? Kjersti: Exactly. Nils: Why is this an important term to bring into schools? Why is that? Kristin: Because we meet different children with different challenges, and some of them can become really activated and end up outside of their tolerance window. If this happens, they won’t be able to respond to messages or learn from the teacher, unless we are aware of what happens when the survival brain cuts the logical brain off. Nils: But communication goes both ways, so doesn’t this just as much apply to the teacher? Kjersti: Yes, it does. And the more assured and more in our window of tolerance we are, the better we can tune in on and regulate the pupils who need help. Unsafe pupils especially need safe people around them to regulate back into their tolerance window. Nils: Are these thoughts newly introduced into schools, would you say? Kristin: It has been a relevant subject for a few years, but there are still many teachers who haven’t heard of it. Nils: Are any teachers of the opinion that all the talk about trust and safety is a bit much, that there are too many niceties? Kjersti: It may seem that way, but it’s true what Kristin says, there is quite the focus on relations. Schools focus a lot on relational competence, but I think what happens when we teachers become uncertain, is the safety and close relationship disappear in favor of enforcing boundaries. We prioritize consequences over safety in the difficult situations. Nils: This isn’t asking too much of the teacher? I personally find this hard to live by. Kristin: But if you don’t have a positive relationship the pupil won’t commit, and making agreements becomes difficult. This can in turn disrupt your lessons, which makes it very important to be aware of. Teachers get a master’s degree in mathematics because they want to teach the subject, so of course it’s natural to prioritize the lesson, but our job is to create a safe learning environment for everyone. Nils: So if I understand this correctly, we require teachers to understand themselves intimately, to know “how to get back into my tolerance window” etc. Isn’t that almost superhuman? Kjersti: Yes, and I think this is one of the hardest things we do as humans; personal development, inspecting ourselves, finding areas we need help to improve on. For teachers this can be an incredibly difficult task, but then we need to look at how sexual assaults against children is a national public health problem. Schools have a unique opportunity to work on prevention at a grassroot-level through these relations, and the more children have safe relations to adults, the more they open up about difficult things in their lives. Building relationships is therefore the cornerstone of our work. At the same time, though, we have to be aware – and I know we ask a lot of teachers, but we have to be aware of the huge ethical responsibility that follows the profession. We carry children’s lives in our hands, watching over and protecting children from violations and hurtful experiences is a part our duty as teachers. Nils: Where do teachers learn all this then? Kjersti: This is based on brain research from only the past few years, so we think teachers should be afforded the space to learn these new theories which can help us better approach children. Nils: But also, teachers are in the first line (which does not need referral) when it comes to regulating unwanted sexual behaviour. They are also in the first line when it comes to encouraging normal sexual behaviour, so in some respects teachers are more important than parents, are they not? Kjersti: In many ways, yes, since they are leaders of a group. Parents and guardians deal with the individual child, but teachers have this unique opportunity to establish ground rules for an entire group of children. This, too, is completely dependent on building relations. The stronger your relation to every individual child in your class is, the easier it is to lay down boundaries and a framework for the group. And if a school is building these safe environments in every classroom, we’re talking about systemic universal prevention of unwanted behaviour – not just sexual, but every form of violating and challenging behaviour. Nils: Why is brain-based class leadership also relevant when talking about sex and sexualized behaviour? Kjersti: When you have a close relationship with a pupil who suddenly infringes on boundaries in some way, it’s natural to tell them “hey listen, you can’t do that” and model the behaviour we want to see instead; a good relation can withstand correction and guidance. However, a bad relation – or none – makes it almost impossible to correct a child who is overstepping boundaries. Nils: When we’re on the subject of good relations; if you are a dictatorial football coach you can sort of gain “good relations” by playing off of fear, but this isn’t actually good, is it? A good relation isn’t necessarily equal, but rather having communication go both ways. Is that right? Kristin: You can scare a child into silence, but it won’t last long; it’s not a long-term solution. You have to start at the bottom, build a relation with emotional equality and safety. Kjersti: I think if you, as a teacher, display this type of leadership, we achieve the opposite of what we want – no children will feel safe enough to talk about difficult things. These relationships are incredibly important, and I think you’re right in saying they should in some way be equal. I think pupils respect teachers who have proven themselves to be authentic, and aren’t afraid to say “we need to look into this” if they don’t know something. Kristin: It is also important to remember brain-based leadership and the tolerance window in the context of not just sexualized behaviour, but every kind of unwanted behaviour – sexual violations and other things like fighting should all be regulated the same way.

7. LIST OF LITERATURE AND APPENDICES PAGES IN THIS CHAPTER LIST OF LITERATURE APPENDIX 1: EXAMPLE OF HOW TO MANAGE HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR IN PRIMARY SCHOOL APPENDIX 2: EXAMPLE OF HOW TO MANAGE PROBLEMATIC SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR IN LOWER SECONDARY SCHOOL APPENDIX 3: CARING FOR THE PERSON EXPOSED TO SEXUAL VIOLATIONS OR ASSAULT APPENDIX 4: TEMPLATE FOR DOCUMENTATION AND INFORMATION WHEN DISCOVERING HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR APPENDIX 5: SAFETY PLANS IN SCHOOL APPENDIX 6: SEXUAL OFFENCES APPENDIX 7: AID AGENCIES AVAILABLE FOR COOPERATION Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

ALREADY KNOW EACH OTHER People are typically exposed to harmful sexual behaviour by someone they know (friends, siblings, classmates, etc.), but some do inflict harmful sexual behaviour on people they do not know. Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 5.4 Already know each other RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:14 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

SUMMARY To determine whether behaviour is problematic or not you need to gather information about the event and discuss with colleagues and management, but most importantly: discuss with professionals. The Traffic Light is also a good tool to use in the assessment. Make sure the school looks after all the children and persons affected throughout this investigation phase. Create an environment in which the pupil can recount their experiences, and opportunities to be closer to the pupil. Inform the pupil of what is going on. Illustration: Jens A. Larsen Aas RESSURSER Website: Statens Barnehus Statens barnehus is among other things, a resource for children and youth that may have been exposed to, or been witness to violence or sexual abuse, in cases where a police report has been made. https://www.statensbarnehus.no/ Website: REBESSA Rebessa is a regional resource team within the subject area of children and youth with problematic or harmful sexual behaviour. https://rebessa.com/ Website: Betanien Sykehus Web page with information about resource unit V27 at Betanien, Bergen. https://betaniensykehus.no/avdelinger/betanien-sykehus/enhet-for-psykisk-helse/barne-og-ungdomspsykiatrisk-poliklinikk Website: RVTS Regional resource centers for violence, traumatic stress and suicide prevention (RVTS) is a resource for everyone that works with people affected by violence and sexual abuse, traumatic stress, migration or issues regarding suicide problems. https://rvts.no/ Website: Snakke med barn A website providing you tools and methods on how to talk to children of different ages and life situations. http://www.snakkemedbarn.no/ Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 4.6 Summary RVTS Mid 00:00 / 01:01 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse DISCUSS THE CASE ANONYMOUSLY IN A PROFESSIONAL ENVIRONMENT! NEVER BE ALONE WITH YOUR CONCERNS! PROFESSIONALS TO CONSULT: Statens barnehus (Children’s Advocacy Center) RVTS Rebessa Resource unit V27 Betanien Bergen

APPENDIX 4 TEMPLATE FOR DOCUMENTATION AND INFORMATION WHEN DISCOVERING HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR File format: docx (Microsoft Word) Pages: 1 File size: 15 kB Download file Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

THE TRAFFIC LIGHT CAN HELP US DIFFERENTIATE – PART 1 It can sometimes be difficult to differentiate between healthy sexual playing, and when the sexual behaviour is problematic and harmful for both the child inflicting it, and the child exposed to it. Knowledge about normal development, and signs of behaviour changing negatively is therefore important. Sexual behaviour can also have different motivations and meanings for children in different developmental stages. “The Traffic Light” is a nice tool for adults to use when identifying and assessing sexual behaviour causing concern. LECTURER Marita Sandvik is a social worker with a master’s degree in mental health care. She is also a cognitive therapist with experience working with violence and sexual crimes at St.Olav’s Hospital, Brøset department (Central professional unit for committal to care, Center for safety-, prison- and judicial psychiatry) and Trondheim Prison. At the moment she works at RVTS Mid with raising competence around problematic and harmful sexual behaviour in children and young people. Sandvik is especially a proponent of prevention of assault by professional development and establishing access to treatment and following-up for adults and children in danger of committing sexual violations. She is in addition a coordinator for the Resource team for problematic and harmful sexual behaviour (REBESSA). Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 3.1 The traffic light can help us differentiate part 1 RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:39 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Sometimes a child’s sexual exploration and playing can become too boisterous, intense and violating, to the point where it is problematic for both themselves and those around them. For this reason we need to not only focus on healthy, natural sexual development, but also be able to discern when a child’s sexuality becomes problematic or directly harmful. Being a good caregiver means reacting when the child is overstepping boundaries, including sexual ones. Adults are supposed to provide protection and prevent injury by intervening, as well as help and supervise those who need it. It can be hard to discern whether children’s sexual behaviour is suited to their age group, or if it’s problematic and potentially harmful. Simon Hackett uses a continuum to define these terms, illustrating with arrows pointing in both directions that sexuality can slide between healthy, problematic and harmful. In other words, when assessing the behaviour we need to take into account the context surrounding it. Healthy sexual playing is characterized as being reciprocated, fun for both parties, consensual, and pleasurable. There should be no power imbalance between the participants, meaning no significant difference in age, physicality, status or cognitive function. Some examples of problematic sexual behaviour are: acts not befitting of the situation or relation, acts which are not age appropriate, and impulsive acts. These sexual acts can be influenced by peer pressure, or the child’s way of regulating difficult thoughts and feelings. A child’s behaviour should not frighten others, or scare them into keeping quiet about what happened. We move to the “harmful” category when children are scared, frightened, or threatened into participation and keeping quiet. Harmful sexual behaviour is harmful both toward the child exposed to and the child inflicting it. It is characterized by power imbalance between the participants, fear and sometimes anger, and is difficult to distract from or stop entirely. Discovering when sexual acts become problematic is of great importance. It will provide adults the opportunity to help the children involved get the help they need, break their behavioural patterns, and return to a healthy sexual development. This is how we can prevent the initial problems from becoming harmful. A guide has been developed to help identify, assess and respond to sexuality that causes concern – it is called “The Traffic Light”, and uses the colours of a traffic light to represent healthy, problematic and harmful sexual behaviour. The Traffic Light reflects the divisions of the continuum, and give examples of healthy, problematic and harmful behaviours in different age groups. Acts which are normal for a 13-year-old require a different response if performed by a 5-year-old, after all. Some are at greater risk of developing problematic sexual behaviours, like children and young people who have themselves experienced sexual assault, violence or neglect, children with a skewed development or socialization, or children that are greatly impulsive or aggressive. A few examples of problematic behaviours are: an 8-year-old masturbating together with others a 10-year-old sharing nude photos on the internet a 14-year-old obsessed with sex and pornography to the point where it disrupts normal development a 14-year-old utilizing very aggressive language A few examples of harmful behaviours are: an 8-year-old masturbating consciously in front of others for attention or to frighten a 10-year-old sending other children sexually threatening messages a 14-year-old obsessed with violent pornography, or performing sexual acts with animals (sexual activity with animals is illegal) It is imperative to put an immediate end to harmful actions. We will through early discovery and following up on both the victim and perpetrator be able to prevent such actions from happening again. After learning what problematic and harmful sexual behaviour between children looks like, one might ask: “Is this really a problem here in Norway?” To find the answer we need to look at studies reporting on the frequency of sexual violations between children and young people. International studies report the frequency of sexual violations as 10-50%, and on average about 30% of all sexual violations are committed by children. What about in Norway? To find out, let’s look at several self-report studies and criminal statistics of how many minors have been reported to the Police for sexual violations: 1. “Young violence – 2015” (“Ung vold-undersøkelsen – 2015” (NOVA)) is a self-report study by upper secondary-graduates in Norway, and reported that: 3 out of 10 girls had experienced at least one form of sexual violation 1 out 10 boys had experienced at least one form of sexual violation When asked about rape, students reported that: 1 out of 10 girls had experienced being raped 1 out of 100 boys had experienced being raped Half of the assaults against girls were committed by boys in their peer-group or slightly older. 2. In 2019 NKVTS published a self-report study on “Adolescents’ childhood experience with violence and assault” (Ungdoms erfaringer med vold og overgrep i oppveksten”). The sample size was around 9000 (9240) adolescents in the ages 12-16, and they reported that: 1 out of 5 had experienced one or more sexual violations by peers, and girls vastly outnumbered boys in this statistic The frequency of sexual violations committed by peers increase drastically when entering teenage years, and girls were affected disproportionately The perpetrator is most often acquainted with the victim In 2 out of 3 cases the perpetrator is a boy 3. A self-report study from 2007 sampling students in the ages 15-19 reports that: At the question “Have [you] convinced, pressured or forced someone to participate in sexual activities?” 9,5% of boys and 1,5% of girls answered yes. (The victims were mostly girls in the ages 10-14.) Looking at criminal statistics, the Norwegian NCIS (Kripos) published a report titled “Minors reported for sexual assault in 2016” (“Mindreårige anmeldt for voldtekt I 2016”), which tells us that: The number of minors reported for sexual assault is increasing 225 minors were reported for sexual offences in 2016 Of everyone reported to the Police, around 1 in 3 were under the age of 15 A significant percentage of young people are reported by several different people In other words, YES, this is worth our attention as a society, as parents and as school staff. Studies from Januscenteret in Denmark – which treats and follows up children who have violated others – show that 30% of the sexual violations were committed at and around school; in the schoolyard during recess, in the toilet stalls, in wardrobes, on the bus, and on the way to and from school. This makes schools an important arena for prevention! But who are these children and adolescents who commit sexual violations? They are usually children and young people who deal with difficult things in other areas of life. They can be children who have experienced or witnessed violence and assault, or who aren’t taken care of where they live. They can be children who feel very lonely, and have trouble managing push-back and stress. They can be children who have trouble forming connections and don’t trust others. They can be children who have a bad experience with sexual activities, or children who use aggression to get what they want, or who is just overstepping many different boundaries. They can also be children who struggle with social skills and are bad at interpreting social signals, or who are very impulsive, but don’t comprehend the consequences of their actions. However, some children and young people who commit sexual violations do not otherwise struggle – instead they may have experimented irresponsibly with sexuality, or imitated pornography they found on the internet. Do remember that these children and young people are still developing, and primarily need help and guidance to avoid injuring others, change their behaviour and achieve positive development. We also have to be very careful not to put stigmatizing labels on children, which are hard to get rid of. There is, luckily, a growing awareness of the many and complex reasons why children and young people exhibit harmful sexual behaviour. For example, the child’s condition and inner workings aren’t the only factors; the surrounding environments are incredibly influential. Factors like if they’re cared for, their network or other influences, like the internet or social media. Cooperation between several professions and authorities are required when managing harmful sexual behaviour. Never be alone with these cases; discuss with colleagues and management, utilize the Traffic Light, and contact agencies with the relevant expertise. Studies show that around 9 out of 10 children will not, given a proper response, repeat harmful actions. Proper responses can be: Correction/enforcing boundaries Explaining Counselling and training for a healthy sexuality Some children need more extensive measures and treatment to change their unfortunate behavioural patterns, ensure positive development and the safety of other children. To help children who need assistance with their violating behaviour you should assess: The underlying cause of the act committed The child’s living situation Other vulnerabilities/issues the child might have And last but not least: resources, strengths and protective factors in both the child and surrounding environments The goal is to gain an understanding of the child’s behaviour, and then use this understanding to decide what measures and treatment are needed. There might be a need for assessments on psychological and cognitive function as well as risk and the chance of repeat offenses, in which case referral to BUP or Habiliteringstjenesten are good options. BUP, in cooperation with other authorities (like school), also offers customized treatment and following-up with the patient. As part of my master’s degree a few years ago I interviewed adolescents who had been convicted of sexual assault. Their answers when asked if their harmful actions could have been prevented were valuable to our work, in my opinion: “My harmful sexual actions could have been avoided by being better educated on sexuality, consent, the age of consent and reciprocity.” “It is important to inform of the consequences for both the victim and the offender, in addition to how pornography can affect us.” “I wish I had someone to talk to about this.” “This” meaning sexuality, body and his attraction to younger children. Young people need someone they can talk to when sexuality becomes difficult or, in the worst cases, harmful. Children and young people often trust one of the school staff, resulting in this person being the first to hear about or themselves observe negative interactions between children. School staff are therefore in a great position to educate and provide guidance on the subject of sexuality, as well as ensure those who need it receive help. Marita Sandvik, vernepleier og fagrådgiver ved Brøset kompetansesenter. Vis teksten Spilletid: 14:56

WORKING WITH SEXUALLY DEGRADING LANGUAGE, ATTITUDES AND BAD CULTURE IN A CLASSROOM ENVIRONMENT Using genital words, degrading language, and sexual orientation jeeringly creates an unhealthy classroom environment. Some may feel excluded and harassed, or the slang could be adapted and accepted as normal. Both have negative consequences for building respect and the correct attitude toward each other. This use of language can, in many cases, lead to physical touches that cross personal boundaries, for instance feeling up breasts, slapping the butt, etc. It is important to have a common understanding of this and how to manage it between the staff. Ensuring the parents and pupils have the same understanding needs to be worked on over time. Other professional advice: Teach boys and girls separately. A male teacher should talk to the boys to avoid accusations of “feminist propaganda” or “prudishness”. Be aware that not everyone will feel exposed or shy by the behvaiour discussed. This should all be in addition to combined lectures where the goal is a common understanding of the subject and obligation to behave properly. Give the class a common understanding of the subject, discuss “how do we want our class to be” and make a set of rules for use of language and physical touching. Hold a parent-teacher conference for all parents and inform them of how you have approached the subject in class, and what rules for use of language and physical touching the pupils have compiled. Encourage the parents to also focus on the subject at home. Contact other agencies for cooperation, e.g. the Child Welfare Service for counselling and assessment of the class environment, and the Educational Psychological Counselling Service (PPT) for assessment of pupils and work with systemic change. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 4.4 Working with sexually degrading.... RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:50

PORNOGRAPHY LECTURER Morten Lundgren is a specialist in clinical pedagogy. He works as a senior advisor in Bufetat. In addition, he is a university lector at the Regional center of knowledge for children and young people – mental health and child welfare (RKBU, Mid-Norway). Lundgren has, for many years, worked as a practitioner at BUP where he was responsible for assessing children and young people’s aggressive and violent behaviour as well as problematic and harmful sexual behaviour. He is in the Resource team for problematic or harmful sexual behaviour (REBESSA). Many young people are curious about sex, and use porn, as one of several sources, to find information on sexual activities. According to the Children and Media-study from 2020, 70% of boys and 25% of girls between the ages 13 and 18 have watched porn. The boys especially look up porn regularly, some from they are 10 years old. Most adolescents are able to separate pornography from reality, but others find it difficult. Younger children may find pornography very frightening. Looking up porn is a normal part of sexual development, but can at the same time affect attitude and sexual behaviour, sometimes concerningly so (Pratt, 2015, Save the Children 2020). Pornography is easily accessible, and some children and young people are in danger of developing a form of addiction to porn which can affect normal sexual development, developing a tolerance for “hardcore porn” which leads to needing more and more extreme stimuli to achieve sexual arousal. A frequently occurring aspect of addiction is a reduced ability to regulate emotions and mentalize. Watching violent pornography seems to increase the risk of sexual aggression compared to watching non-violent pornography. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse “Porne” means “hore”, and “graph” means “illustration” or “depiction”. These two Greek words combined in 18th century France to create what we today understand as pornography. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary pornography is defined as “the depiction of erotic behaviour (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement”. We have discovered illustrations, statues and paintings from Ancient Greece and the Roman Empire which may be examples of pornography, but could also have served other purposes – religious ones, for instance. If we skip to all the way to the 1960s, we see very different pornography from the 18th and 19th centuries. Denmark and Sweden were first to legalize porn, and were also the primary exporters of it, producing material like movies and magazines. This kept up until the 70s, when the USA took the lead – a lead they haven’t given up since. The evolution of pornography from the 70s and until today is an interesting one. Looking at porn in the 70s, it turns out pornographic movies were made for cinema, and shown in public theaters. Then came the 80s, bringing video and revolutionizing pornographic content. What followed was an increase in so-called “home production”, where everything was more intimate, shown from several angles, and resulted in pornographic content changing yet again. This change continued with DVDs entering the scene in the late 80s and early 90s, and subsequently dominating the market until around year 2000. After that the internet took over, resulting in pornography changing even more. “Gonzo porn” appeared, a kind of pornography that was rougher, more brutal, and contained more violence and aggression, exemplified through choking, beating, lack of consent, and front and center a dominant man with a submissive woman who was never asked if she wanted any of it. Several studies have shown that mainstream porn contains violence against women in 90% of scenes. Use of pornography is pretty widespread. According to The Aim Project in England between 50-75% of men and women regularly use porn. Internationally, the porn industry has a turnover of around 97 billion dollars – more than Google, Amazon, Yahoo, Microsoft and Apple put together. This gives us an idea of the industry’s massive scale; there are 28 million internet searches about pornography daily. So we see that porn is extensive and far-reaching, but what are the consequences? Is this good and healthy, or are there downsides to such a wide-spread use of pornography, and the fact the porn industry is defining what we see as sexuality? We can confidently say we are born with a biological drive to breed, but our sexual practice or sexual behaviour is shaped by the culture we live in; norms and values affect us and our sexuality, as well as our arousal patterns after a while. Based on this we can reason that what is presented through pornography – especially the more brutal acts depicted – influences the sexuality of the viewers, particularly children and young people, who are usually in the phase where they learn the difference between right and wrong. In other words, pornography can be meaningful, especially to developing children and young people. The Norwegian Media Authority published a report in May 2020 which looked into the media habits of children and adolescents. 49% of adolescents between the ages 13-18 reported watching porn, which is an increase from 2018, when the number was 42%. This means even though we discuss pornography publicly and point out the positive and negative effects it has, the percentage of young people watching porn is increasing. The number of young people who watch porn increases with age, and more boys than girls report having done so. Of those having watched pornography, 57% reported doing it before turning 13. In the age group 17-18, 77% of boys and 39% of girls reported having watched porn on the internet. The majority of adolescents found it exciting and interesting, but a not insignificant percentage did not – instead finding it nasty and a bit disgusting. Looking at the genders we see that girls don’t like pornography as much, with boys liking it more frequently. In general we can say that watching pornography – the type called Gonzo porn from the year 2000 and upwards – shapes inner values, fantasies and what you imagine sex is. Save the Children published a study in May 2020 where they had asked children and adolescents about their thoughts on internet-related pornography. The study is called “A damaged picture of what sex is”. Is this affecting adolescents? The study reports: adolescents say they have very easy access to pornography, both what we call soft porn and the more hardcore type closer to Gonzo porn. Adolescents use pornography to learn about what sex is – they report it as not accurately depicting reality, but still being a source of information on what happens during sex. A survey in Australia questioned adolescents about their sexual behaviour, once in 2013 and a second time in 2015. In 2015 they found the percentage of adolescents who had performed anal sex had increased from 0% in 2013 to 10%. And you start to wonder what could have caused this; lessons at school? Talking to a neighbour? Watching pornography? It is definitely easy to stumble across porn containing both abuse and violence. A lot of people find it uncomfortable, and there are doubts about if girls understand that it does not reflect reality. Similarly, there are doubts about if boys manage to separate fantasy from reality, or if they conflate them and want to try out their fantasies in real life, only to find reality very different from the porn they watched online. The adolescents themselves report both negative and positive effects from watching pornography. One aspect is the excitement, provocation and arousal. Another aspect is finding porn scary and disgusting, and thinking “wow, is that what it’s really like”. The adolescents do question if porn can give someone false expectations of what men’s and women’s sexuality is. Children and young people are of the opinion pornography increases interest in sending and looking at nude photos. They also think it goes further – that watching porn leads to wanting to see more brutal sex. Someone who often watches porn will, after a while, not be satisfied by what used to be normal, instead craving more and more brutal porn. This is proven to be correct! Adolescents think children should be shielded from pornography. They also seek adults who can talk about it openly and free of judgement, so they can explore what it actually is, what you can and can’t say. Another thing adolescents want are teachers and teaching arrangements to help them find good analyses or observations, and methods of evaluation and determining what is alright and what isn’t alright. I have a personal story as a practical example, as I have visited quite a few grade 11-classes to speak to them about mental issues. One of those was a mixed-gender class with some tough footballer boys, and a few girls. We were talking about different kinds of emotions, and a tough guy in the back row shouted “horny”, to which I replied “THAT is a good feeling, we’ll talk about it after”. The class went silent. So I talked about being horny, about adolescents and sexuality, and pornography. The class had been rowdy before I started speaking about it, but when I asked them if they watched porn, what porn depicts, what are some good and bad things about porn? It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. These are important subjects for all adolescents, and may even affect the arousal patterns and sexuality for all of our society. Porn affects us all in many other ways, too, like how the porn industry is a big proponent of technological advancement; video, DVD, internet, high resolution, etc. were all invented in part because of the demand created by the industry. Virtual Reality – where you put on special glasses to experience being in another world – is apparently being integrated into the porn industry as we speak. Some version of this already exists, but is now being developed further into a product where you can walk into virtual rooms and choose what happens. You feel like you are actually inside the room. The main point of this section of the talk is to establish how extensive pornography is. Adults watch porn and children and adolescents watch porn; porn affects us all to some degree. The next subject I want to bring up is: does pornography contribute to sexual assaults and violations committed by children and young people against other children and young people? One answer is some types of porn under some conditions may be harmful to some people. When it comes to adolescents, those who have violated others report having seen more pornography. Comparing adolescents who have violated others sexually to those who have committed normal crimes – very broadly defined – finds that those who have committed sexual crimes have watched more pornography. Exposure to the more brutal types of porn will, for some people, lead towards recreating things from the videos in real life. An Australian study asked 193 therapists world-wide who had worked with adolescents, especially boys, who had committed sexual assault, whether the adolescents had watched pornography, and if this was impactful to their crime in some way. The answer was yes. The adolescents had watched a lot of pornography, and over 60% had recreated an assault from mainstream porn in real life, either against someone random or a family member. The Aim Project points out how watching porn negatively affects adult men and adolescent boys with a masculine hostility. They like to control, humiliate and dominate women, and porn pushes them in the wrong direction. But you can also ask: is this the chicken or the egg? On behalf of us men, I’d like to point out how not all of us become sex offenders, but there is a small group with those bad attitudes. Pornography only exacerbates and validates those attitudes and values through its fantastical depictions of sex, which leads these people closer to committing a sexual assault. Regularly watching porn containing hostile masculinity, impersonal sex and degradation of women may lead to becoming less aware of others’ feelings, experiences and boundaries. This kind of pornography is especially effective with vulnerable children, who might not have had a great childhood, or trusted adults, or had problems academically, and makes them more liable to violate others. Now, we know those who violate others are a heterogenous group of people, but within it one of the largest groups is comprised of those with learning difficulties combined with other challenges and risk factors. It’s all about “where do I end and others begin”, and if someone has trouble understanding it already, expecting them to understand it in a sexual context is unreasonable. Especially so when they learn from the internet with no adult supervision, and no way to correct what they see and talk about. The knowledge we have on pornography and its effect on sexuality and sexual violations are not causal explanations, but rather implied connections, which is an important distinction to make in this context. There lives a wise old woman named Gayle Ryan in Colorado, who said that adolescents who sexually violate others are confused about their own sexuality, and also have the potential to do so. I at least know one thing for sure: adolescents are confused by the porn industry, the internet and pornography. We can therefore speculate on how this leads some vulnerable individuals to being deluded, and then violate others more or less “knowingly”. What do we do about this? The porn industry is staying put, yielding large sums and earning a lot of people good money. Adolescents watch porn increasingly, as shown by the study from the Norwegian Media Authority in May 2020. Maybe we should offer the adolescents – and children, too – more realistic depictions of sexuality which focus more on relations and emotions, consent and safe exploration. Finally, we want to describe how the fantasies depicted by porn and other internet-related mediums aren’t representative of what normal sex between people who love each other, or meet under equal circumstances, is like. Our children and adolescents need to hear that. They need a description of realistic sexuality; what happens to them, what happens between people. We are in this case referring to consent, safe environments, the ability to say no at any time, and choosing freely to participate without any external pressure or expectations, like from the internet. Morten Jensås Lundgren, Klinisk pedagog. Vis teksten Spilletid: 17:10 Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 3.3 Pornography RVTS Mid 00:00 / 01:25

HOW TO STRUCTURE A CONSULTATION – ROLES ROLES Professionals in a Consultation have different roles and responsibilities. In the videos underneath you will meet people who represent different kinds of expertise or special services. Health care worker and sexology advisor Tone Bjørnson Aanderaa The Child Welfare Service, Else Baardsgaard Barnehuset (Children’s Advocacy Center), Øystein Wammer-Pettersen BUP (Division of Mental Health Care, Department of Children and Youth), Tina Sæther Habiliteringstjenesten for barn og unge, Hedda Lervold (video coming soon) Bufetat, Jonas Overgaard Specialist of psychology, Christian Lunde-Hanssen Jeg heter Tone Bjørnson Aanderaa, jeg er helsesykepleier og sexolog og jobber på helsestasjon for kjønn og seksualitet i Oslo kommune. I saker der det er barn eller ungdom som viser skadelig seksuell adferd – hva er din jobb da? Som helsesykepleier er det viktig å avklare først situasjonen. Hva som har skjedd? Da må jeg først finne ut av om eleven eller ungdommen vet at jeg er informert. Når jeg har funnet ut av det, må jeg også finne ut av om eleven samtykker til å jeg kan snakke med vedkommende. Det er viktig. Og hvis det er slik at det er greit og jeg snakker med ungdommen, så handler det om å finne ut av hva som har skjedd og kartlegge. Og da er det viktig at jeg bygger en allianse som er bygget på trygghet og tillit slik at ungdommen tør å åpne seg å fortelle hva som har skjedd. Så er det nyttig for meg å bruke trafikklyset. Og da handler det om å finne ut av hva er dette? Er dette noe som er grønt? Er det naturlig utforskning for eleven å oppdage seksualiteten sin, eller det noe som gjør meg bekymret – som er mer en gråsone? Eller er det noe som utløser en sterk bekymring og som er over på det rød. Det er det viktig at jeg finner ut av som helsesykepleier. Også er det også viktig å finne ut av hvilket forhold har ungdommen selv til seksualitet. Har ungdommen oppdaget dette som jeg pleier å si – er en naturlig gave. Noe som egentlig er positivt og fint og hvordan har ungdommen opplevd dette i sitt liv. Hvordan samarbeider du med skolen? Nå jobber jo jeg på helsestasjonen for kjønn og seksualitet så vi har mye samarbeid med helsesykepleiere. Men uansett hvis man jobber som helsesykepleier på en skole så er det viktig å være i dialog med både ledelse, med sosiallærer, rådgiver og ikke minst kontaktlærer. Men jeg tror det er litt viktig å tenke på at man ikke nødvendigvis ikke blåser dette opp for stort. For jeg tror mange av oss tenker at oi.. dette er seksualitet, dette er vanskelig, og så har man lett for å lage mer styr enn det man trenger. Er dette noe man kan ta med færre personer involvert eller må man helt opp til ledelsen, det må man jo også vurdere i forhold til alvorlighetsgrad at man kanskje egentlig kan løse noe med noen få involverte som kontaktlærer, rådgiver eller sosiallærer. Er dette med seksualisert adferd noe du ofte får spørsmål om? I den jobben jeg har så er det sånn at vi innimellom får kontakt med helsesykepleiere som ber om veiledning og som sitter i disse sakene. Men jeg vil nok si at vi får mer henvendelser i forhold til de som har blitt utsatt for seksuelle overgrep og grenseoverskridelser, enn de som utøver det selv. Har barn og unge vanskeligheter med å vite hva som er god folkeskikk når det gjelder seksuell adferd, eller er de fleste gode på dette? Når det gjelder hva barn og ungdom selv tenker over og oppfører seg i forhold til seksuell folkeskikk, så opplever jeg at veldig mange er gode på dette. Stort sett når man snakker om det skolen så vet de og har en refleksjon rundt hvor grensen går. Det som gjør det utfordrende er ofte når man kommer opp i ungdomsskolealder eller videregående og utforsker i forhold til rusmidler, og er på fest. Da har disse grensene lett for å bli visket ut. Og hvis vi ser på de yngre barna, så ser vi også hvor mye man i dag dessverre blir påvirket, også på en negativ måte da av sosiale medier og porno som gjør en del med barnets holdninger til andre mennesker og også til seksualitet generelt. Så barn kan få et mer seksualisert språk, og det kan også påvirke deres kvinnesyn i forhold til at det kan være negativt på porno. Så derfor er det så viktig at vi jobber med å ha en undervisning hvor vi normaliserer seksualiteten. For jeg tenker kjernen her er at hvis du skal lære barn og unge å sette grenser så må de først lære – hva er seksualiteten for meg, og at det faktisk er noe jeg skal ta vare på å bli kjent med uten å skamme seg. Men å tenke på at dette er noe positivt, for jeg tror det er det som er nøkkelen til at de etter hvert skal finne ut av: Hvor går mine grenser? Så det å ha en god, fast seksualitetsundervisning i tett samarbeid med helsesykepleiere og lærere, det tror jeg er utrolig viktig. Og da er det ikke bare en runde med det en gang i året og så er man ferdig. Dette må komme som drypp hele veien, fordi det er bevisstgjøring, repetisjon og refleksjon som er veien til å hjelpe barn og unge med akkurat dette. Har seksuell folkeskikk endret seg med årene, eller er det samme i dag som det var i for eksempel 1930? Jeg tror nok at vi mennesker blir påvirket av den tiden vi er i – det vet vi at vi gjør. Dette med grenseoverskridelser har jo skjedd til alle tider i forhold til seksualitet, men det har nok fått en annen form nå med så stor påvirkning fra sosiale medier. Og jeg tror nok også det at barn og ungdom ikke blir så lett korrigert, fordi de er mer kanskje ensomme og alene i sin oppfatning og kommunikasjon gjennom sosiale medier. Så har de lett for å ta vurderinger de kanskje ikke får sjekket ut med andre, og det kan føre til at den seksuelle folkeskikken kanskje trengs å jobbes mer med nå enn det den gjorde før. Hva vil du si til skoleansatte som syntes det er skikkelig vanskelig å undervise om seksualitet? Hvis man syntes det veldig vanskelig å undervise å snakke om seksualitet, så er det viktig å gå inn i selg selv og finne ut av hva er det som er vanskelig for meg? Og det er ikke alltid det er så lett å løse alene, så da ville jeg anbefale å snakke med noen. Snakk med kollegaer. Ta det opp i et team-møte – dette strever jeg med – kan dere øve på hverandre. Hvis det er vanskelig som lærer å få hjelp nok av kollegaer og lærere så gå til helsesykepleier, eller man kan snakke med en sexolog å finne ut av hva er kjernen? Hvorfor er det vanskelig for meg? Gå inn i deg selv. Tenk på hvilke holdninger har jeg til dette? Hva er det som trigger meg? For vi har veldig lett for å tenke når vi møter barn og ungdom som utforsker sin seksualitet, så kobler vi det ofte til voksenseksualitet, og vi kobler det til vår seksualitet – og så tenker vi at – nei barn skal ikke ha den seksualiteten. Men barn har et helt annet forhold til sin seksualitet enn vi voksne har. De har ikke den erfaringen som vi har. Men de er jo lekne, de er nysgjerrige og de er utforskende. Og derfor er det så viktig at du ser på barn og ungdom sin seksualitet som noe annet enn der du er. Men at vi alle har det med oss fra når vi blir født det vet vi. Og da er det viktig at du finner ditt språk, at du går inn i dine holdninger og der hvor skoen trykker, så handler det om å øve. Øve, øve, det gjør deg mer trygg jo flere ganger du går inn i dette. Health care worker and sexology advisor Tone Bjørnson Aanderaa (transcript only in norwegian). Duration: 7:24 Show transcript X0 What is the responsibility of the municipal Child Welfare Service? The municipal Child Welfare Service is responsible for the care of children after they have moved into a foster home or institution. We are responsible for following up on the children’s development. You are a psychologist. What do you work with in the municipal Child Welfare Service? My task is to counsel employees who follow up on the children or foster parents, and I to some degree work directly with children and adolescents. How many children are part of this system? Trondheim Municipality has chosen to organize this work around children who have moved into a unit, of which there are around 400. We have also had many singular minors who are now growing up, the number being as high as 2-3000, but decreasing. What kind of counselling do you provide foster parents with? It can be how to relate to the kids, or how to deal with challenges with the biological family. There is a lot of variety in the problems faced by foster parents. Being a foster parent must be pretty difficult? Yes, it’s an underestimated job. And there is a shortage of foster parents, correct? Yes. But how often does harmful sexual behaviour appear in your counselling sessions? I have specialized within the field, so it’s only natural to get cases relating to it; I always have a few active ones. I don’t have the numbers, but our unit is overrepresented because of the connection to neglect and behavioural issues. Research shows that children exposed to neglect, violence and similar problems are more prone to display problematic sexual behaviour. How do you proceed with a case? We do some assessments to determine severity, whom the behaviour is inflicted upon, frequency, and then we create measures based on this. Teachers and foster parents also come with suggestions to these. There are foster parents whom I frequently counsel in the beginning, and then the intervals between our sessions increase. It’s through these sessions with their foster parents I follow up on children’s development. Would you say it’s important to watch out for harmful sexual behaviour early? Yes, absolutely. We see very young children with these problems, and know from media and research that there is no age limit when it comes to being sexually violated. We also notice that children displaying this behaviour have themselves often been violated. In your experience, regarding the help we provide children who have been exposed to harmful sexual behaviour, is it effective? Absolutely! The vast majority finds it effective, and I have multiple examples; for instance, a five-year-old boy who was always touching the breasts of his foster mother, asked intimate things, and overstepped the boundaries of everyone he met. Younger siblings and other children required a lot of attention because of things he would do. He is now eleven and doesn’t do any of it anymore. He is very attentive of his foster parents, and checks to see if “this and this is alright”. He is attached, has changed his behaviour, and is very interested in the subject – but so are many others. It’s in a natural and exploring way, asking “is this alright”. A lot of other children should be counselled on the subject too, in my opinion. In your experience, are we more aware of harmful sexual behaviour than we used to be? Yes, luckily. It’s an expression of behaviour the same way violence is, and we appropriately respond to violent children. We should react similarly when it comes to sexual violations. Since we are more aware of the issue now, foster parents need to be more aware as well, which in turn requires more from counselling. How has your role in counselling those affected by harmful sexual behaviour changed? I am more requested, and we work with all the new information coming from the field. We try and tackle this subject the same as we do other subjects. What part of your job brings you joy? Seeing the changes, that it helps, and people being happy with their achievements. Do you provide counselling to schools and teachers? Yes, we do. How does this happen? It can happen with a work team made for managing a student displaying this sort of behaviour, and news travel, making people request us more and more. We have been asked to, among other things, have sessions with school staff – both smaller and larger groups – and provide supervision over a period of time to make sure the set goals are achieved. Do you have any advice for a teacher who finds themselves in a challenging situation with a child displaying harmful sexual behaviour, and who feel this matter is difficult to work through? My advice is to utilize yourself. If you have doubts about whether something is okay or not, speak to a colleague, or the management, or Rebessa, and discuss your worries. This is usually enough to decide if we should take the issue further. Discussing sexuality and adjacent themes were not covered in any of our education, leading to it being somewhat unnatural and weird to do. I therefore try to advertise myself to educational institutions, and the situation seems to have gotten better in recent years. People react differently to these subjects, because you are reminded of your own sexuality, and there may be other gripes even if someone isn’t affected by the subject matter. This is something I found very interesting and thought a lot about when I first started working in the field. I had colleagues who refused to talk about the subject, and we have to respect that decision, but other people can get past it, find it alright, and get to the point where speaking about this is no more difficult than discussing a shortage of food for school lunches, or other issues we bring up with parents and pupils. We should attempt to remove the subject of sexuality from the pedestal it is currently placed on, and make it a natural part of life. It is also a part of mental health, meaning we must treat it professionally. But the way different generations discuss sexuality has changed drastically, with Paradise Hotel, Snapchat and similar things, so the divide between those under twenty and their parents has increased, correct? Those who are young now have a different view of sexuality than my generation has. It was more embarrassing and taboo for us, and our issue was being more open, maybe. Now, though, the problem looks to be accommodating and respecting others, and being aware of how you may violate someone with actions you yourself think are normal. There is a good TV-show called “Innafor” (meaning: acceptable) on air right now. I sat down to watch it yesterday, and I really appreciated how detailed they were and the subjects they brought up. People need to learn about consent and seeing others’ perspectives. I have worked with bullying a lot, and the same problem arises; someone thinks they’re being funny, but the recipient experiences it as bullying. This also applies to sexual assault, where someone watched a movie or a porn, and thought it was a representation of normal sexuality, while in reality this is absolutely not how you get positive sexual experiences. But maybe the generations over twenty have something to learn from young people when it comes to speaking openly about sexuality? Absolutely. But young people could also stand to learn from the older generations about bringing feelings into sexuality. The trouble comes when you violate feelings, as factoring them out doesn’t affect the technicality of what is happening. But then there are also those who enjoy a little romance or feelings. Else Baardsgaard, psychology specialist. She works in Trondheim municipality, and is a member of the Resource team for problematic and harmful sexual behaviour (REBESSA). Duration: 4:55 Show transcript X0 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Barnehuset is multidisciplinary, and where children and vulnerable adults come in for questioning. They are offered counselling and medical assistance from health care workers, doctors, nurses, and dentists. We provide both children and their parental guardians comprehensive treatment after hearings. The hearings are used in court, does that mean they are police hearings? Yes, they are called “closed hearings” and is a part of the legal procedure of a police investigation. They can be used as evidence in court if the case becomes a trial. Has the methodology changed while you have been working there? I have been working at Barnehuset since 2009, and yes, I have seen a great deal of change. There used to be judicial hearings, which were conducted by a judge, and with a defense attorney present. However, in 2015 this was changed to facilitated hearings; the judge and attorney were no longer present. Today these hearings are administrated and organized by the police. But you are the professional who can speak to the children? I sit in an observation room during hearings, where my job is to observe the child being questioned. I’m looking for what kind of help or needs the child will have or have use of after the fact, as well as assisting the interrogator with insight and questions. I contribute with my professional knowledge of children. So your focus is on the child’s best interest? Yes, from start to finish. Others are present, among them a guardian if the parents are suspected of having harmed the children in some way. There is also an attorney who represents the child during the investigation, potentially into a trial, and, of course, an investigator. There are Barnehus all over the country. How many are there? There are 11 Barnehus. Could you take us through the process of what happens to a child who has been exposed to sexual activity? The preparations begin ahead of the day the child is scheduled to arrive – we call it a Consultation. There we discuss everything with police, the Child Welfare Service, a guardian and the investigator. Firstly, on the day of the hearing, when is the child arriving? Are they accompanied by mum, dad, a teacher, etc.? Then we review the case; what are the circumstances of the report, what is specifically reported, and what has happened. The interrogator prepares for the day of hearing, where they then welcome the child, and show them and the accompanying adult to a waiting room. Next, the child is brought into the interrogation room along with the interrogator, where they are to go over the circumstances of the police report. How long does a hearing typically last? It’s hard to say. It can be anywhere from half an hour to an hour, or two to three hours. It depends on the case, the amount of material to review, and the age of the child. When children under the age of 5 come in for questioning we arrange what we call sequential hearings. Which is? A sequential hearing is a hearing divided into modules. It starts with getting to know the child and their ability to answer questions, as well as checking if they understand numbers, can tell the time and things like that. Then we slowly move onto the subject they are here to talk about; why they were reported. Children are not always happy to talk about what’s happened, are they? No, sometimes children find it very difficult to talk about the worst – or some of the worst – things they have experienced. They can be held back by loyalty to their parent or parents, maybe even their grandparents if these adults are suspected of doing something wrong. Maybe other circumstances around the child prove to be difficult to manage, like diagnoses, or language – an interpreter might make the hearing more difficult. There are multiple circumstances with the potential to make proceedings harder. If the person suspected of having exposed a child to unwanted sexual behaviour turns out to also be a child, will this child also be called in to Barnehuset? Generally, yes, but not always. Barnehuset wants children suspected of exhibiting unfortunate or harmful sexual activity to be interrogated at Barnehuset if they’re being interrogated for a case, but sometimes it happens at the local sheriff’s office. Sometimes there aren’t even any representatives from Barnehuset present. Are children often accompanied by adults from school? They can be, but it really depends on the individual case. When a child or adolescent is suspected of exhibiting unfortunate sexual behaviour, their parental guardians are often a natural choice. What about the parental guardians of children who have experienced unwanted sexual behaviour; how do they react, in your experience? It depends. Many of them are shocked by the revelation, absolutely, so we want to establish contact with them – not just because of their child, but to offer help and following-up, either through dialogue or supervision. What makes you feel like your job is important? I personally find it rewarding when we help a boy – most of the people who commit sexual offenses are boys – get onto “the right path”, and he doesn’t get into more trouble. When someone has done a bad thing, it is motivating to help them realize they can find a girlfriend their own age and prosper sexually despite it all. Can you provide some examples of unwanted sexual behaviour you see at Barnehuset? Yes, there can be a great difference in age and maturity – a thirteen-year-old boy exhibiting sexual activity towards a six-year-old girl, for example. How do you follow up on children after? We offer to speak with both the child and their guardians, but it really depends on the severity of the reported circumstances, and what the adolescent has done specifically. The reported circumstance might not be that severe, but would require some conversations, and then we talk about sexuality, bodily boundaries and rules, and what could be smart to do in the future. Then there are those children and adolescents who have committed pretty brutal sexual offences. We might spend more time on them by evaluating and assessing them, and offering treatment. Parental guardians are of course included in the conversation, and some children might have problems or diagnoses which require us to cooperate with BUP or other authorities. Øystein Wammer-Pettersen, clinical child welfare pedagogue and family therapist. Works for Statens barnehus (Children’s Advocacy Center) Trondheim and is a member of the Resource team for problematic and harmful sexual behaviour (REBESSA). Duration: 6:06 Show transcript X0 You work in BUP; Division of Mental Health Care, Department of Children and Youth. How did you end up there? It’s a special and kind of unconventional story. You see, I got my education in the army, and worked for them both in and out of the country for 8 years. But then I wanted an occupation where I worked with people more, while staying in Norway. I also wanted to be in civilian environments after serving in the army. This turned into a bachelor’s degree in social work, and I was off – after going to the University of Stavanger, where I gained insight into the Child Welfare Service, psychiatry and that side of things. Do all children and young people with mental health issues come to BUP? No, they don’t. Only the Child Welfare Service and general practitioners are capable of referring people to us, since there are a lot of steps to get into the specialist health care service. Do you feel there is an increasing demand for your professional expertise among children and young people? Yes. Referrals have increased ever since I started working in psychiatry in 2012, but I also think adolescents are better at notifying adults and asking for help in general. What was never spoken about before is now on the table, and adolescents may talk to their teacher or the school nurse, who takes it up with the appropriate authorities. I think this has always been a societal matter, but people are now better at seeking help and advice. Do you often see harmful sexual behaviour in your line of work? I personally do, because that’s my specialty within the field, and therefore a significant percentage of my work pertains to it. It is in no way the main cause of referrals to BUP, but we see it more and more often. I would say there is an increase in older adolescents being referred, maybe because these are subjects no one talked about, or you felt you would be “arrested” for talking about them, though I do think this has changed. Before, these issues would be “snuck into” the referral, like in addition to being referred for ADHD, or assessment of depression or something else, there would be mention of unfortunate events involving a sibling, an underage boy in the neighbourhood, etc. Now, though, it’s more direct; this has happened, and we want help with it. It sounds like treatment is better when the problems are iterated clearly? Absolutely. I have also helped treat adolescents struggling with school refusal, anxiety, depression and eating disorders for years, and through treatment discovered sexual abuse, incest and various other things. Then it turns out we have spent years not really tackling the root of the issue, and maybe even diagnosed the wrong child. Being open and clear about it from the beginning is very much advantageous. But the taboo is not gone, is it, even though things have improved? Not at all. I have noticed a generational thing, though – I’m pushing forty, and think of myself as a pretty liberal person who can comfortably talk about a lot of things, but the adolescents from the ages of fourteen to eighteen dare to straight up say “I’m gay” or “I’m lesbian”. We see they have the courage to openly talk about things the previous generation kept a little under lock and key. It is easy to criticize the Snapchat-generation, with reality TV like Paradise Hotel sending all the wrong messages, but there is a kind of sexual revolution happening as well. Could there be a positive side to it with the way this generation dares to speak about issues that were kept quiet before? Yes, I think there are both pros and cons to the programs you mention – Snapchat and all that – being so accessible and developed. The fact it makes us talk about these subjects is a pro, but a con might be children growing up thinking “this is how it is”. We adults have to step in when children find themselves thinking “I’ve been okay with this so far, but I’m having issues with it now”, by telling them that what they see on TV and in photos is not how it should be, necessarily. What kind of help do you offer children and young people at BUP? We offer many kinds of treatment. Our focus is not on the events described in the referral – because of the taboo and how difficult it is to speak about – but rather “why did you end up in this situation, why is it like this for you?” Suddenly we get a lot of different underlying causes, which is what we are interested in. In our experience the dialogue is easier when those we speak to are allowed to express their own reasons and perspective, and not just talk about the events in question. Then if I am a teacher and suspect a pupil of displaying problematic sexual behaviour, I’m supposed to confide in the principal and general practitioner rather than BUP directly, as these are the only two with the authority to refer to you, correct? We also get anonymous calls among the referrals, where someone asks for consultation. An example is someone calling because the parents of the child in question won’t agree to a referral. Parents, in our experience, find it difficult to have that phone call, and don’t want to acknowledge the conduct of their child. I think this might relate to the old feeling of shame where your child’s poor decisions reflect badly on you as parents, and imply they learned this conduct at home. But we don’t think this way anymore. To sum it up, there are people who call us to discuss cases anonymously, and get some extra help to handle a situation. These subjects are a bit taboo in some teaching spaces, with few others willing to discuss and talk about a case. BUP is kind of like an undercover back door where one can be advised on what to do, isn’t it? Yes. I have done a number of anonymous consultations for adults working in grade 8, all the way up to grade 13, where they just want to be heard and seen. When parents are on board, it usually works out, but when parents are willfully ignorant the educator is stuck managing the problem alone, which is when it becomes difficult. They have to try and help the child or adolescent to find the motivation to seek help themselves. We touched on it before, your impression of adolescents having an easier time speaking openly about things deemed taboo by the previous generation, but what do you do if they do not want to talk about it? Most people want to talk about it, in my experience, but I do meet quite a few adolescents who have been reported to the police, and therefore are being followed up on by the Mediation Service as part of a follow-up. Their attitude is usually: “I can show up, but I won’t say anything”. Since we have to be there for 10 hours anyway, I figure we’ll just find a place to begin. And now we circle back around to the question “why did this happen to you, why are you in this situation?”, which they often have a few thoughts about, and slowly but surely the ball starts rolling. The first few sessions we don’t focus on how their actions are punishable by law – we try to get rid of the shame to allow dialogue. It’s after that we need to be honest and tell them if they don’t stop what they’re doing, they might be convicted in court, and there are pretty heavy sentences given to people over 18 who have done the exact same things. You also help the parents, and they are a part of treatment. Can you tell us how this works? We always wish for the parents to be involved when the child is under 16, but when they are over 16 the duty of confidentiality kicks in and other rules apply. I do feel we get more out of it when parents are involved, but I have encountered parents who can get mad with me and how I treat their child. They might be of the opinion I’m making the issue worse by talking about it, and giving space to talk about it makes the stigma worse for the family. Some parents have wanted to remove their child from the clinic and get private treatment, to name an example. Involving the parents is a lot of work, but we can insert another practitioner to help, meaning the parents can be in contact with my colleague as well. This works better for me, too, as I can focus more on the child, but we do after a while need to sit down together and attempt to cooperate on the issues at hand. What about your work brings you joy? Meeting the people who have fallen so far to the wayside they have been bullied or penalized for their actions, and then working with them to figure out how to not get into those same situations. They can go from being thrown out of school to being allowed back in a few years later, without these issues hanging over their heads. What is the best thing about helping children and young people who display harmful sexual behaviour? It’s what I just mentioned – helping them find a better way. I also think the responsibility of resolving these problems lies with all of society. Research shows that there is very little to be done if treatment is late, but here we have a golden opportunity to come in early and incite a change of behaviour, preventing children from both being exposed to and display such behaviour. I find this a very nice contribution to the effort. Tina Sæther is a family therapist. She works at BUP Nidarø and the Child Welfare Service in Trondheim municipality, and is a member of the Resource team for problematic and harmful sexual behaviour (REBESSA). Duration: 6:19 Show transcript X0 What do you do if a child or adolescent displays harmful sexual behaviour? It depends on which region of the country we’re talking about, and if the child is placed with or already in Bufetat. In Mid-Norway, if the child is associated with Bufetat, we organize a consultation with Rebessa, where the first order of business is to make an overview of the sexual behaviour in question. Then, based on your findings, you help homes or foster parents to implement various measures? Sometimes the behaviour is not especially concerning, but other times, yes, we implement some of the heavier measures, and make safety plans with institutions or foster homes. A few of us employees from the regional office in Mid-Norway help foster homes or institutions with safety plans. A safety plan is a plan detailing how to avoid new violations. Does this mean you intentionally set the bar low when identifying sexual behaviour so you can earlier intervene? We try to. I have worked in child welfare with these measures over a substantial period of time, and we maybe used to minimize the issues and call it sexual playing and exploration, not taking it as seriously as we do today. We have the Traffic Light now, a tool measuring severity on an individual basis, and there are assessment tools helping us to dig deeper. These make it possible for us to draw up detailed plans to prevent a child or adolescent from committing more sexual violations against others – if that is the problem we are faced with. How do you identify what is normal sexual behaviour when all children and young people are unique sexual beings? The children who come to the Child Welfare Service – maybe in an institution if that is the best option – have experienced things many adults have not – and thank the lord for that. These experiences may result in difficulties with emotional regulation, and some of the adolescents masturbate to calm down, which is inside the realm of normalcy. Maybe the adolescent needs some guidance in how to masturbate, and this may be part of treatment, but there is a chance of it being blown out of proportion, yes, which is what we try to assist with. Is sexual behaviour – and unwanted sexual behaviour, to some degree – normal with children and young people who end up in institutions or foster homes? No, there is no basis for saying that. A good colleague of mine says that when someone has large issues in many areas it would be weird if sexuality was not also a part of that. All adolescents are in a phase where they explore and test things out, and those entering child welfare institutions should also have every opportunity to do so. We want to emphasize healthy behaviour as well. Do you provide supervision to parents or foster parents? For the first year after a child moves into a foster home, the foster parents are supervised by us in state-run child welfare. The municipal Child Welfare Service takes over after that. From January 1 2022 the municipal services will handle all supervision. But since I have the chance I want to mention something else: there are municipal foster homes, state-run foster homes and treatment foster homes, and we sincerely hope the best offer for some of these children with harmful sexual behaviour can be the treatment foster homes. Creating a safe framework is always difficult, and having to be on the lookout 24/7 is very challenging for both the adolescent and the staff. But a treatment foster home is tightly supervised by psychologists, family therapists, other counsellors and teachers, as well as free of other children. I have high hopes, especially since institutions have several adolescents living together, which is always a challenge; no matter the form or severity of the problems of the individuals, making sure 4-5 adolescents develop properly while living together is very difficult. We talked some about this in other interviews, where if teachers feel they aren’t taken seriously by anyone about their concerns regarding a pupil with problematic sexual behaviour, they can call authorities to speak with them anonymously. Are you one of those, do you get many “under the table”-phone calls? We do get a few, I imagine, but school is challenging for children in child welfare. Finishing and doing well in school means a guaranteed future. We therefor heavily invest in schools, and every child welfare institution has their own contact within the staff. In other words, there is close cooperation between schools and child welfare, and an institution might even be in contact with several schools – both for the upper and lower secondary levels, sometimes even down in primary. The school contact is the center of this type of operation, but the adolescents living in institutions all have their own main contact who help them with homework and those kinds of things. In regard to treatment foster homes, I am sure we will establish great contact with schools. Foster homes are, by definition, a normal home welcoming a child or adolescent; they are supposed to cooperate. Sometimes it’s challenging, other times it works out fine, and that’s just how it is. You have worked in this field for a while – what are your reasons for staying? All this about harmful sexual behaviour just came about, to be honest. I have worked with adolescents facing challenges regarding sexuality, but only 4-5 years with a clearly defined subject. A good reason for going all in when it comes to children and adolescents with harmful sexual behaviour is the research showing how 85% of them will not repeat the behaviour if given an adequate reaction, good counselling and training in what is okay and what’s not. Though I am now trying to be a bureaucrat, I have worked directly with a lot of children and adolescents, which is rewarding and sometimes extremely challenging. The teachers watching this will understand how difficult it is and how sometimes it’s hard to figure out why children react the way they do – have you done something to set them off? – but this also helps to develop and widen the professional field. Do you have any advice for teachers who find this hard to do? Yes. Most of the children I’ve known really appreciate if you are able to look them in the eye and tell them in simple terms what you want them to do and not do. Also make sure the child knows you want the best for them; the minute a child or an adolescent starts to doubt your intentions, the foundation is ruined. So you need to genuinely want to help them, and when they discover this they often begin to let their guard down. Jonas Overgaard, senior advisor in Bufetat. He is a member of the Resource team for problematic and harmful sexual behaviour (REBESSA). Duration: 8:43 Show transcript X0 Jeg tror at for veldig mange voksne er det vanskelig å tenke at barn og unge har en seksualitet. Det gjør at man kanskje fort tror eller bekymrer seg for at barna har kommet for langt i utviklingen, når man får høre at barn holder på med seksuell utforskning. Kan vi påføre barn og unge skam for egen kropp og seksualitet hvis vi setter for strenge grenser? Det er viktig når vi jobber med seksualitet å tenke at barn og unge trenger å ha et naturlig forhold til sin kropp og sin seksualitet. Det gjør også at de må lov til å utforske, få lov til å være undrende og de må få lov til å bli kjent med seg selv. Så når vi oppdager og ser at barn og unge holder på med å utforske, så er det viktig at vi kjenner på om dette skjer innenfor noen gode rammer, eller at vi agerer dersom vi tenker at rammene, måten det skjer på eller at relasjonene ikke er på plass. Kan det å lære voksne om skadelig seksuell adferd gjøre at de bare ser problemene ved barn og unges seksualitet? Vår erfaring er at når man bare fokuserer på det som er skadelig så mister man ut det sunne, normale og det positive ved seksualiteten. Så jeg tenker at det viktigste vi lærer lærere, helsepersonell og andre om seksualitet er i utgangspunktet det som er sunt og godt og så må vi også hjelpe dem til å se grensene som man kan tråkke over og hvor det kan bli skadelig og problematisk. Hva er de vanligste årsakene til at barn kan vise krenkende seksuell adferd? Min erfaring er at barn og unge som mangler forståelse, mangler kunnskap sliter med å se grenser. Det være seg i lek. Det være seg i sin seksuelle utforskning osv. Så skal barn og unge vite noe om hvor ting går så må de ha kunnskap, de må ha et språk for det, og de må også erfare at andre respekterer deres grenser. Hvem skal lære dem dette? Dette tenker vi at er de som er i nære relasjoner. Det er de vi er trygge nok på til å snakke om vanskelige og intime spørsmål. Hva er det viktigst å gjøre hvis man blir bekymret for et barns seksuelle væremåte? Vi tror at det er lett å gå å bære bekymringen inni seg. Det er et krevende tema å diskutere med kollegaer eller andre. Men, har du bekymringen i maven så kan det være vanskelig å få ord på den og det kan være vanskelig å agere på den. Derfor så tenker vi at hvis man ført er blitt bekymret, så finnes det hjelpemidler som trafikklyset som man kan bruke for å komme i dialog med kollegaer. Er dette noe som er innafor? Eller bør vi agere? Men hvis lærerkollegiet er uenig om en oppførsel er skadelig eller ikke – hva gjør man da? Da er man så heldig at det finnes konsultasjonsteam de fleste steder, man kan ta kontakt med regionalt ressurssenter, RVTSene. Og det finnes også andre helsepersonell man kan drøfte med. Og noen ganger er det slik at det er gode argumenter for at noe er innafor, og med de samme argumentene utenfor. Hvem bør man samarbeide med? Vi tenker at det er viktig å samarbeide med mennesker som har kompetanse på området. Seksualitet er jo noe som setter mye følelser i sving. Det kan være lett å tro og synse noe, og det er jo også et fagfelt uten de helt tydelige rammene på hva som er greit og hva som er ugreit, og derfor anbefaler vi å ta kontakt med mennesker som vi vet jobber mye med dette og som har nyansert syn. Vil alle helsesykepleiere vite nok om hva som er bekymringsfull seksualitet dersom jeg som ansatt på skolen tar en telefon dit? Helseykepleiere har mye kompetanse på kropp og helse, samt psykologiske aspekter. Om de vet nok? Ja, jeg tenker at man også kan spille de gode. En drøfting sammen med en helsesykepleier vil antageligvis resultere i at man får ting på plass. Men man kan ikke bare spille ballen over til dem, man må være en aktør der også selv. Hvorfor må barnevernet kobles inn? Vi vet at mange av de som ikke helt forstår grenser, har fått sine grenser overskredet hjemme. Ca. 2/3 viser statistikken har opplevd en eller annen form for omsorgssvikt. Enten en aktiv omsorgssvikt, hvor de har vært utsatt for noe – eller en passiv omsorgssvikt hvor de ikke har blitt møtt med sine behov hjemme. Omsorgssituasjonen til barn er det barnevernet som kartlegger. Barnevernet sitter også på masse ressurser som det kan være bruk for, for å hjelpe barnet ut av den vanskelige situasjonen den har kommet inn i. Det sies at hvis et barn krenker andre skal det anmeldes. Hvorfor det? Her tenker jeg for det første at det er viktig å drøfte disse sakene med Statens barnehus, som har god kjennskap til når man bør anmelde og hvilke saker det ikke er nødvendig å anmelde. Så skal vi også tenke på politi, kriminalomsorg, konfliktrådet – alle sitter på en del ressurser som er viktige for å hjelpe barn og unge å unngå å komme opp i lignende situasjoner igjen. Hender det at du syntes at det barnet eller ungdommen gar gjort er så ekkelt og skremmende at du nesten ikke vet hvordan du skal håndtere det? Vi har lest og møtt både utsatte og utøvere av handlinger som vi tenker – altså som gjør noe med oss. Vi har i hvert fall lyst til å tenke at det kanskje er et monster som står bak. Men i møte med den unge som har begått disse skadelige seksuelle overgrepene så ser jo vi en person som har begått handlinger og det er enkelthandlinger. Ofte har de ikke forstått konsekvensen av det de har gjort selv om utfallet har blitt veldig alvorlig for den andre. Ja, man kan reagere på handlingene og man kan kjenne at det er vanskelig å jobbe med ut ifra det utsatte perspektivet, og så er det det å huske på at det er mennesker som står bak. Hva skal man gjøre hvis foreldrene til ungen ikke mener at dette er så farlig? At det vil gå over av seg selv, eller bare er en form for uskyldig utprøvning? Dette vet vi kan være ganske bekymringsfullt for det har noe med holdningene å gjøre. Det er jo sånn i dag at når vi gir konsekvenser for det vi tenker er bekymringsfull eller skadelig seksuell adferd, så vet vi at det å komme med konsekvenser i seg selv er viktig. Det hindrer mange å gjøre ting igjen. Men reiser man hjem og møter holdninger som at dette er ålreit, eller at det er den andre som ber om det osv. så er det vanskeligere for de å forstå de grensene som vi som hjelpere eller samfunnet for øvrig prøver å sette. Derfor er det viktig at vi kommer i god dialog også med foresatte, pårørende om hva de kan gjøre hjemme for unngå at deres sønn eller datter kommer i slike situasjoner på nytt. Christian Lunde-Hanssen er Psykologspesialist og CL team, barneavdelingen, Sykehuset Østfold. Duration: 7:28 Show transcript X0

INTERAGENCY COOPERATION An early effort is imperative to prevent injury and provide help to vulnerable children struggling with problematic and harmful sexual behaviour. Such complex situations require a coordinated effort across professional groups. A well-established interagency relationship – with clear goals and defined roles – increases the chance of children getting the professional and social assistance they need – when they need it. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 1.4 Interagency Cooperation RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:31

THE TRIUNE BRAIN In order to function, the brain requires the different parts of itself to cooperate seamlessly. To simplify, we can say we have a survival brain, an emotional brain and a logical brain (MacLean, 1985). The survival brain is in control of functions like reflexes, breathing, heartbeat, blood pressure and body temperature. The emotional brain is central to emotional states like anger and fear, and controls memory functions and stress hormones. The logical brain provides us with language, awareness, the ability to reason and consciously controlled motor functions, among other things (Stien & Kendall, 2004). TWO MOTIVATIONAL SYSTEMS ARE IN CONTROL OF OUR ACTIONS The survival system (often called the alarm system) makes sure one is safe and out of harm’s way. The exploration system is characterized by curiosity and stimulates exploration, discovery and learning. The systems can’t be “on” at the same time, and the survival system always overrides the exploration system. Prior life experiences strongly affect how the systems cooperate with each other. When children have experienced something hurtful their survival system will, most of the time, be active, and the exploration system inactive. The children are occupied with scanning their surroundings for danger, which hinders their ability to learn. Even though we adults know the classroom is safe, the brains of these children are preparing for danger. To change this, the children need constant safe experiences in the classroom, until their brain has enough of them to realize it is, in fact, safe. The teacher’s understanding, predictability and perseverance can help the children’s brain to increasingly activate the exploration system. Doing this will improve the children’s learning ability, and the children get to experience the good of the world (Ringereide og Thorkildsen, 2019). LECTURER Kjersti Draugedalen has worked as a primary school teacher for over 10 years in Uganda, Groruddalen and Re municipality. She has further education in pedagogical guidance and sexual assault in the perspective of a lifespan. She is currently working on a public Ph.D. titled: “The opportunity teachers have to discover and implement measures for children and young people displaying harmful sexual behaviour in primary school”. Draugedalen is a proponent of inclusivity in schools, and especially the important role a teacher plays when meeting vulnerable children. RESOURCES Listen to a read-aloud version of the text 1.1 The triune brain RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:50 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse As teachers we often meet pupils who challenge us in different ways, and this changes us as teachers. What maybe changes us most is meeting pupils who display problematic or harmful sexual behaviour. We adults usually panic and lose the calm needed to best approach the situation. However, new brain research may allow us to approach pupils struggling, especially with a sexualized behaviour, but also other kinds of disruptive behaviours. You see, the brain is divided into three parts: we have a survival brain, an emotional brain and a logical brain. The logical brain is activated when we are safe and calm, but the connection between the logical brain and the survival brain is shut down when we are worried and in a state of emergency preparedness, as we call it. This means that if us teachers are to educate pupils open to learning new things, we need the logical brain to be firmly activated. A very useful tool for explaining when children and adults have their logical brain “on”, is “the Window of Tolerance”. All humans have a window of tolerance, and while we are safe and open to learning within it, outside of it we enter “emergency preparedness”. Being in a state of emergency preparedness means the body is completely focused on how to avoid danger. For teachers, this means that we have to regulate children into their window of tolerance in order to educate, which, in turn, requires us adults to be calm and regulated ourselves. It is typical of us adults to go outside of our tolerance window when we are met with harmful sexual behaviour. It is therefore very important for us to be aware of our own triggers and reactions in order to approach children in the best possible way. We teachers use ourselves to teach, meaning our own self is the main tool we use in our profession. This fosters not only professional development, but a personal development, and means that when I, as a teacher, become triggered, I have to be very aware of what is happening to me personally, since I am the tool in the situation. Yes, relations and safety in school have been discussed for many years, but I think what is missing from the conversation is how we as teachers integrate ourselves when working on relations. Since, when we are safe and calm ourselves, we can make our pupils feel safe. We teachers need to stay calm upon meeting challenging behaviour. Being able to deal with pupils who behave in a way that triggers us, may be one of the most important things we do. You see, to be able to make change happen, we need to have a close relation with the pupil in question. In other words, us teachers are responsible for the relation and must invest in it from the first day of school, so that when hurtful and difficult situations occur, we can help regulate the pupil into their tolerance window. We can then encourage change via close dialogue and genuine guidance that does not feel constructed or fake. I believe attempting to correct pupils displaying any kind of challenging behaviour – but maybe especially sexualized behaviour – without having laid the ground work of building a relation, can result in the intervention going so badly you close the door on providing aid. This is why we emphasize building relations and safety first as part of the work of universal prevention in schools. Kjersti Draugedalen, Pedagog, Tønsberg kommune. Show transcript Duration: 5:14