THE TRIUNE BRAIN In order to function, the brain requires the different parts of itself to cooperate seamlessly. To simplify, we can say we have a survival brain, an emotional brain and a logical brain (MacLean, 1985). ​ The survival brain is in control of functions like reflexes, breathing, heartbeat, blood pressure and body temperature. The emotional brain is central to emotional states like anger and fear, and controls memory functions and stress hormones. The logical brain provides us with language, awareness, the ability to reason and consciously controlled motor functions, among other things (Stien & Kendall, 2004). TWO MOTIVATIONAL SYSTEMS ARE IN CONTROL OF OUR ACTIONS The survival system (often called the alarm system) makes sure one is safe and out of harm’s way. The exploration system is characterized by curiosity and stimulates exploration, discovery and learning. The systems can’t be “on” at the same time, and the survival system always overrides the exploration system. Prior life experiences strongly affect how the systems cooperate with each other. When children have experienced something hurtful their survival system will, most of the time, be active, and the exploration system inactive. The children are occupied with scanning their surroundings for danger, which hinders their ability to learn. Even though we adults know the classroom is safe, the brains of these children are preparing for danger. To change this, the children need constant safe experiences in the classroom, until their brain has enough of them to realize it is, in fact, safe. The teacher’s understanding, predictability and perseverance can help the children’s brain to increasingly activate the exploration system. Doing this will improve the children’s learning ability, and the children get to experience the good of the world (Ringereide og Thorkildsen, 2019). LECTURER Kjersti Draugedalen has worked as a primary school teacher for over 10 years in Uganda, Groruddalen and Re municipality. She has further education in pedagogical guidance and sexual assault in the perspective of a lifespan. She is currently working on a public Ph.D. titled: “The opportunity teachers have to discover and implement measures for children and young people displaying harmful sexual behaviour in primary school”. Draugedalen is a proponent of inclusivity in schools, and especially the important role a teacher plays when meeting vulnerable children. RESOURCES Listen to a read-aloud version of the text 1.1 The triune brain RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:50 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse As teachers we often meet pupils who challenge us in different ways, and this changes us as teachers. What maybe changes us most is meeting pupils who display problematic or harmful sexual behaviour. We adults usually panic and lose the calm needed to best approach the situation. However, new brain research may allow us to approach pupils struggling, especially with a sexualized behaviour, but also other kinds of disruptive behaviours. You see, the brain is divided into three parts: we have a survival brain, an emotional brain and a logical brain. The logical brain is activated when we are safe and calm, but the connection between the logical brain and the survival brain is shut down when we are worried and in a state of emergency preparedness, as we call it. This means that if us teachers are to educate pupils open to learning new things, we need the logical brain to be firmly activated. A very useful tool for explaining when children and adults have their logical brain “on”, is “the Window of Tolerance”. All humans have a window of tolerance, and while we are safe and open to learning within it, outside of it we enter “emergency preparedness”. Being in a state of emergency preparedness means the body is completely focused on how to avoid danger. For teachers, this means that we have to regulate children into their window of tolerance in order to educate, which, in turn, requires us adults to be calm and regulated ourselves. It is typical of us adults to go outside of our tolerance window when we are met with harmful sexual behaviour. It is therefore very important for us to be aware of our own triggers and reactions in order to approach children in the best possible way. We teachers use ourselves to teach, meaning our own self is the main tool we use in our profession. This fosters not only professional development, but a personal development, and means that when I, as a teacher, become triggered, I have to be very aware of what is happening to me personally, since I am the tool in the situation. Yes, relations and safety in school have been discussed for many years, but I think what is missing from the conversation is how we as teachers integrate ourselves when working on relations. Since, when we are safe and calm ourselves, we can make our pupils feel safe. We teachers need to stay calm upon meeting challenging behaviour. Being able to deal with pupils who behave in a way that triggers us, may be one of the most important things we do. You see, to be able to make change happen, we need to have a close relation with the pupil in question. In other words, us teachers are responsible for the relation and must invest in it from the first day of school, so that when hurtful and difficult situations occur, we can help regulate the pupil into their tolerance window. We can then encourage change via close dialogue and genuine guidance that does not feel constructed or fake. I believe attempting to correct pupils displaying any kind of challenging behaviour – but maybe especially sexualized behaviour – without having laid the ground work of building a relation, can result in the intervention going so badly you close the door on providing aid. This is why we emphasize building relations and safety first as part of the work of universal prevention in schools. Kjersti Draugedalen, Pedagog, Tønsberg kommune. Show transcript Duration: 5:14

INTERAGENCY COOPERATION An early effort is imperative to prevent injury and provide help to vulnerable children struggling with problematic and harmful sexual behaviour. Such complex situations require a coordinated effort across professional groups. A well-established interagency relationship – with clear goals and defined roles – increases the chance of children getting the professional and social assistance they need – when they need it. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 1.4 Interagency Cooperation RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:31

ORIENTATION Many people find out early on whether they are attracted to the same or opposite gender, but it is also normal to spend some time exploring your sexual identity. ​ Create a safe and open environment and acknowledge and support children and young people who wish to speak about their own gender awareness or orientation. Children are most afraid of rejection. ​ Children rely on safe adults who can support a healthy sexuality. They need adults who can be happy for them and their sexual development, while also being able to regulate and correct behaviour if it turns violating. Illustration: Jens A. Larsen Aas Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 2.5 Orientation RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:39 Adults and their responsibility in children’s sexual development 2.5 Adults and their responsibility in children´s sexual development RVTS Mid 00:00 / 01:40 «Children rely on safe adults who can support a healthy sexuality. They need adults who can be happy for them and their sexual development, while also being able to regulate and correct behaviour if it turns violating.» - THE TRAFFIC LIGHT Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Read a transcript of the audio recording “If adults can handle speaking to children about sexuality, we signal to them that it’s okay to talk about. Providing children and young people with this understanding will also be good for them in the long run. Now, say we shun sexuality instead of talk about it. Say we minimize the issue instead of facing it head on. What signals would we be sending? We would be telling children this isn’t a subject we are supposed to talk about. The thing is, talking about sex with a child, adolescent, or your own children can feel a bit awkward. Many parents don’t know what to say. I think conveying to the children that it is alright to talk about sexuality is incredibly important, and makes it easier for them to approach the subject as well. This is really good for people who experience bad things, like their boundaries being violated and exploited, or acquiescing to things that are not okay. Having the positive experience of being able to talk about it means they can tell an adult and receive help. If surrounding adults had shunned the subject, it might have been a lot harder to do this, but I am only thinking out loud.”

4. MANAGING PROBLEMATIC SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR If any of the school staff suspects a pupil of displaying problematic or harmful sexual behaviour, they should bring this to someone’s attention right away. The concerns often begin with vague gut feelings and uncertainty about the violating behaviour. Discuss your worries with professionals as early as possible, so the correct measures can be speedily implemented at the school. ​ This way the school can investigate, observe and assess the situation to ensure the behaviour does not continue or escalate. While this is important, keep in mind that the goal is to help the child or young person have a healthy sexual behaviour. ​ In this chapter you will learn about “the Tolerance Window” and the part it plays during conversations with children about difficult subjects, professional advice on how to manage different problems, and be referred to several sources of information on the subjects. PAGES IN THIS CHAPTER SPEAKING WITH CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE ABOUT DIFFICULT SUBJECTS BEING MENTALLY AVAILABLE DURING CONVERSATIONS CREATING A SAFETY PLAN WORKING WITH SEXUALLY DEGRADING LANGUAGE, ATTITUDES AND BAD CULTURE IN A CLASSROOM ENVIRONMENT THE SCHOOL’S RESPONSIBILITY SUMMARY SUBJECT-RELATED QUESTIONS Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

DIFFERENT CAUSES FOR THE BEHAVIOUR It can be the result of unfortunate sexual experimentation, or maybe a reaction caused by emotional, physical or sexual assault or neglect. Some display this behaviour after having been shown or seen a lot of pornography, or after adults have had sexual intercourse in front of them. Others are more impulsive in their actions, with no apparent instigator or premeditative planning. ​ The problematic or harmful sexual behaviour is often only one of several issues (behavioural issues, psychological or neurological problems) the adolescent is dealing with, and must be understood as such; in context, rather than as “its own thing”. There are, however, a significant percentage of adolescents not otherwise troubled, and whose cognitive and social functions fall within the normal part of the spectrum. Illustration: Jens A. Larsen Aas Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 5.5 Different causes for the behaviour RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:52 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

THE TRAFFIC LIGHT CAN HELP US DIFFERENTIATE – PART 1 It can sometimes be difficult to differentiate between healthy sexual playing, and when the sexual behaviour is problematic and harmful for both the child inflicting it, and the child exposed to it. Knowledge about normal development, and signs of behaviour changing negatively is therefore important. Sexual behaviour can also have different motivations and meanings for children in different developmental stages. ​ “The Traffic Light” is a nice tool for adults to use when identifying and assessing sexual behaviour causing concern. LECTURER Marita Sandvik is a social worker with a master’s degree in mental health care. She is also a cognitive therapist with experience working with violence and sexual crimes at St.Olav’s Hospital, Brøset department (Central professional unit for committal to care, Center for safety-, prison- and judicial psychiatry) and Trondheim Prison. ​ At the moment she works at RVTS Mid with raising competence around problematic and harmful sexual behaviour in children and young people. Sandvik is especially a proponent of prevention of assault by professional development and establishing access to treatment and following-up for adults and children in danger of committing sexual violations. She is in addition a coordinator for the Resource team for problematic and harmful sexual behaviour (REBESSA). Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 3.1 The traffic light can help us differentiate part 1 RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:39 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Sometimes a child’s sexual exploration and playing can become too boisterous, intense and violating, to the point where it is problematic for both themselves and those around them. For this reason we need to not only focus on healthy, natural sexual development, but also be able to discern when a child’s sexuality becomes problematic or directly harmful. Being a good caregiver means reacting when the child is overstepping boundaries, including sexual ones. Adults are supposed to provide protection and prevent injury by intervening, as well as help and supervise those who need it. It can be hard to discern whether children’s sexual behaviour is suited to their age group, or if it’s problematic and potentially harmful. Simon Hackett uses a continuum to define these terms, illustrating with arrows pointing in both directions that sexuality can slide between healthy, problematic and harmful. In other words, when assessing the behaviour we need to take into account the context surrounding it. Healthy sexual playing is characterized as being reciprocated, fun for both parties, consensual, and pleasurable. There should be no power imbalance between the participants, meaning no significant difference in age, physicality, status or cognitive function. Some examples of problematic sexual behaviour are: acts not befitting of the situation or relation, acts which are not age appropriate, and impulsive acts. These sexual acts can be influenced by peer pressure, or the child’s way of regulating difficult thoughts and feelings. A child’s behaviour should not frighten others, or scare them into keeping quiet about what happened. We move to the “harmful” category when children are scared, frightened, or threatened into participation and keeping quiet. Harmful sexual behaviour is harmful both toward the child exposed to and the child inflicting it. It is characterized by power imbalance between the participants, fear and sometimes anger, and is difficult to distract from or stop entirely. Discovering when sexual acts become problematic is of great importance. It will provide adults the opportunity to help the children involved get the help they need, break their behavioural patterns, and return to a healthy sexual development. This is how we can prevent the initial problems from becoming harmful. A guide has been developed to help identify, assess and respond to sexuality that causes concern – it is called “The Traffic Light”, and uses the colours of a traffic light to represent healthy, problematic and harmful sexual behaviour. The Traffic Light reflects the divisions of the continuum, and give examples of healthy, problematic and harmful behaviours in different age groups. Acts which are normal for a 13-year-old require a different response if performed by a 5-year-old, after all. Some are at greater risk of developing problematic sexual behaviours, like children and young people who have themselves experienced sexual assault, violence or neglect, children with a skewed development or socialization, or children that are greatly impulsive or aggressive. A few examples of problematic behaviours are: an 8-year-old masturbating together with others a 10-year-old sharing nude photos on the internet a 14-year-old obsessed with sex and pornography to the point where it disrupts normal development a 14-year-old utilizing very aggressive language A few examples of harmful behaviours are: an 8-year-old masturbating consciously in front of others for attention or to frighten a 10-year-old sending other children sexually threatening messages a 14-year-old obsessed with violent pornography, or performing sexual acts with animals (sexual activity with animals is illegal) It is imperative to put an immediate end to harmful actions. We will through early discovery and following up on both the victim and perpetrator be able to prevent such actions from happening again. After learning what problematic and harmful sexual behaviour between children looks like, one might ask: “Is this really a problem here in Norway?” To find the answer we need to look at studies reporting on the frequency of sexual violations between children and young people. International studies report the frequency of sexual violations as 10-50%, and on average about 30% of all sexual violations are committed by children. What about in Norway? To find out, let’s look at several self-report studies and criminal statistics of how many minors have been reported to the Police for sexual violations: 1. “Young violence – 2015” (“Ung vold-undersøkelsen – 2015” (NOVA)) is a self-report study by upper secondary-graduates in Norway, and reported that: 3 out of 10 girls had experienced at least one form of sexual violation 1 out 10 boys had experienced at least one form of sexual violation When asked about rape, students reported that: 1 out of 10 girls had experienced being raped 1 out of 100 boys had experienced being raped Half of the assaults against girls were committed by boys in their peer-group or slightly older. 2. In 2019 NKVTS published a self-report study on “Adolescents’ childhood experience with violence and assault” (Ungdoms erfaringer med vold og overgrep i oppveksten”). The sample size was around 9000 (9240) adolescents in the ages 12-16, and they reported that: 1 out of 5 had experienced one or more sexual violations by peers, and girls vastly outnumbered boys in this statistic The frequency of sexual violations committed by peers increase drastically when entering teenage years, and girls were affected disproportionately The perpetrator is most often acquainted with the victim In 2 out of 3 cases the perpetrator is a boy 3. A self-report study from 2007 sampling students in the ages 15-19 reports that: At the question “Have [you] convinced, pressured or forced someone to participate in sexual activities?” 9,5% of boys and 1,5% of girls answered yes. (The victims were mostly girls in the ages 10-14.) Looking at criminal statistics, the Norwegian NCIS (Kripos) published a report titled “Minors reported for sexual assault in 2016” (“Mindreårige anmeldt for voldtekt I 2016”), which tells us that: The number of minors reported for sexual assault is increasing 225 minors were reported for sexual offences in 2016 Of everyone reported to the Police, around 1 in 3 were under the age of 15 A significant percentage of young people are reported by several different people In other words, YES, this is worth our attention as a society, as parents and as school staff. Studies from Januscenteret in Denmark – which treats and follows up children who have violated others – show that 30% of the sexual violations were committed at and around school; in the schoolyard during recess, in the toilet stalls, in wardrobes, on the bus, and on the way to and from school. This makes schools an important arena for prevention! But who are these children and adolescents who commit sexual violations? They are usually children and young people who deal with difficult things in other areas of life. They can be children who have experienced or witnessed violence and assault, or who aren’t taken care of where they live. They can be children who feel very lonely, and have trouble managing push-back and stress. They can be children who have trouble forming connections and don’t trust others. They can be children who have a bad experience with sexual activities, or children who use aggression to get what they want, or who is just overstepping many different boundaries. They can also be children who struggle with social skills and are bad at interpreting social signals, or who are very impulsive, but don’t comprehend the consequences of their actions. ​ However, some children and young people who commit sexual violations do not otherwise struggle – instead they may have experimented irresponsibly with sexuality, or imitated pornography they found on the internet. Do remember that these children and young people are still developing, and primarily need help and guidance to avoid injuring others, change their behaviour and achieve positive development. We also have to be very careful not to put stigmatizing labels on children, which are hard to get rid of. There is, luckily, a growing awareness of the many and complex reasons why children and young people exhibit harmful sexual behaviour. For example, the child’s condition and inner workings aren’t the only factors; the surrounding environments are incredibly influential. Factors like if they’re cared for, their network or other influences, like the internet or social media. Cooperation between several professions and authorities are required when managing harmful sexual behaviour. Never be alone with these cases; discuss with colleagues and management, utilize the Traffic Light, and contact agencies with the relevant expertise. Studies show that around 9 out of 10 children will not, given a proper response, repeat harmful actions. Proper responses can be: Correction/enforcing boundaries Explaining Counselling and training for a healthy sexuality Some children need more extensive measures and treatment to change their unfortunate behavioural patterns, ensure positive development and the safety of other children. To help children who need assistance with their violating behaviour you should assess: The underlying cause of the act committed The child’s living situation Other vulnerabilities/issues the child might have And last but not least: resources, strengths and protective factors in both the child and surrounding environments The goal is to gain an understanding of the child’s behaviour, and then use this understanding to decide what measures and treatment are needed. There might be a need for assessments on psychological and cognitive function as well as risk and the chance of repeat offenses, in which case referral to BUP or Habiliteringstjenesten are good options. BUP, in cooperation with other authorities (like school), also offers customized treatment and following-up with the patient. As part of my master’s degree a few years ago I interviewed adolescents who had been convicted of sexual assault. Their answers when asked if their harmful actions could have been prevented were valuable to our work, in my opinion: “My harmful sexual actions could have been avoided by being better educated on sexuality, consent, the age of consent and reciprocity.” “It is important to inform of the consequences for both the victim and the offender, in addition to how pornography can affect us.” “I wish I had someone to talk to about this.” “This” meaning sexuality, body and his attraction to younger children. Young people need someone they can talk to when sexuality becomes difficult or, in the worst cases, harmful. Children and young people often trust one of the school staff, resulting in this person being the first to hear about or themselves observe negative interactions between children. School staff are therefore in a great position to educate and provide guidance on the subject of sexuality, as well as ensure those who need it receive help. Marita Sandvik, vernepleier og fagrådgiver ved Brøset kompetansesenter. Vis teksten Spilletid: 14:56

5. HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR Harmful sexual behaviour is harmful both to the child exposed to it and the child inflicting it, and requires an immediate response from adults. ​ Harmful sexual behaviour is an umbrella term for behaviour we classify as non-normative and non-acceptable sexual behaviour. It is usually characterized as being excessive, secretive, violating, forceful, regressive or threatening. ​ In this chapter we give you insight into general statistics about harmful sexual behaviour, different causes of the behaviour, as well as suggestions on how to look after both affected parties. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse PAGES IN THIS CHAPTER CHARACTERISTICS OF HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR IN CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE WILL NOT REPEAT HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS ALREADY KNOW EACH OTHER DIFFERENT CAUSES FOR THE BEHAVIOUR CARE FOR BOTH PARTIES INVOLVED REPORT AND INVESTIGATE HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR ONLINE

APPENDIX 4 TEMPLATE FOR DOCUMENTATION AND INFORMATION WHEN DISCOVERING HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR File format: docx (Microsoft Word) Pages: 1 File size: 15 kB Download file Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

THE SCHOOL’S RESPONSIBILITY The Education Act Section 9A-4 (Obligation to act in order to ensure pupils a good psychosocial environment), states: “Everyone working at the school must keep an eye on the pupils to ensure they have a good psychosocial school environment, and if possible, intervene against violations such as bullying, violence, discrimination and harassment. (…) Everyone working at the school must inform the head teacher if they suspect or find out that a pupil does not have a good psychosocial school environment”. THE OBLIGATION TO ACT CONSISTS OF FIVE SUBSECTIONS: Obligation to pay attention (Investigate and observe to gather information on what occurred.) Have conversations with the pupils involved to better understand what happened, and support everyone involved. Obligation to intervene Obligation to notify the school management (principal) Obligation to investigate (investigate and observe to gather information on what occurred.) Obligation to implement measures (make a plan of action) THE SCHOOL MUST CREATE A WRITTEN PLAN WHEN MEASURES ARE TO BE IMPLEMENTED IN A CASE. THE PLAN MUST DESCRIBE: a) What problem the measures are to solve b) What measures the school has planned c) When the measures will be implemented d) Who is responsible for implementation of the measures e) When the measures will be evaluated. The school must document what will be done to comply with the obligation to act. You MUST abide by The Education Act Chapter 9A if you receive information or suspect someone is exposed (by other pupils) to, or exposes other pupils to problematic or harmful sexual behaviour. Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 4.5 The Schools responsibility RVTS Mid 00:00 / 01:57 «A need for observation and information gathering to ensure the correct actions are taken by adults.» - THE TRAFFIC LIGHT, P. 5 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

Strategies Measures Give praise, positive attention Guidance, descriptive comments Co-regulation Discuss different kinds of coping strategies (e.g. similarities between thoughts, emotions and behaviour, problem solving skills) Conversing, observational learning Empathy (e.g. showing you are compassionate toward others, giving compliments) Self-control (e.g. learning about emotions and regulation) BEHAVIOURAL SUPPORT STRATEGIES COGNITION-ORIENTED STRATEGIES SOCIAL SKILLS Cooperation (e.g. friendship skills, sharing, helping others, following rules and instructions) Self-assertion (e.g. introducing oneself, taking the initiative, resisting pressure) Responsibility (e.g. keeping agreements, turning down unreasonable suggestions from others) Tell someone when experiencing something difficult, unreasonable or uncomfortable MEASURES WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT – PART 2 Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 2.7 social an emotional competence RVTS Mid 00:00 / 02:35 «Social competence and social skills are important for children and young people’s developing relations with both peers and adults.» - VEILEDER UDIR, P.10 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse 2. SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE Education in social and emotional competency is the second component of the universal prevention of harmful sexual behaviour. In the core curriculum of the Knowledge Promotion Reform 20, social learning and development is described in Section 2.1: ​ “Being able to understand what others think, feel and experience is the basis for achieving empathy and friendship between pupils (…). Everyone shall learn to cooperate, work with others and develop abilities within co-determination and co-responsibility” (Udir.no) ​ Several programs have been developed for schools aiming to teach their pupils social and emotional skills. The programs used in prevention contain mostly the same topics and areas of competence (see Useful resources). Observational learning and reinforcing desired behaviour are central principles, based around the idea that changes in children’s behaviour happen through changes in the behaviour of significant adults. The teacher becomes an important role model in how to behave properly in a classroom, by themselves being a good example of such behaviour. DIFFERENT STRATEGIES Education in social and emotional competency can be based on different strategies:

GENDER AWARENESS Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 2.4 Gender awarness RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:19 GENDER AWARENESS When they are 2-3 years old, children begin to understand the differences between boys and girls, and can identify as one or the other. It has traditionally been thought that everyone identifies as either a boy or a girl. We now know gender is a lot more diverse. Illustration: Jens A. Larsen Aas Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

BEING MENTALLY AVAILABLE DURING CONVERSATIONS “Accommodating” children’s strong emotions and behavioural expressions requires us to stay calm and keep a lid on our own strong emotions and frustrations. This can prove difficult when children seem to reject and actively provoke you. The Window of Tolerance is a widely used metaphor which can help with resisting and regulating outbursts. Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 4.2 Being mentallty available during conversations RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:27 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Dag Nordangers korte og enkle forklaring av toleransevinduet. Spilletid: 4:28