Strategies Measures Give praise, positive attention Guidance, descriptive comments Co-regulation Discuss different kinds of coping strategies (e.g. similarities between thoughts, emotions and behaviour, problem solving skills) Conversing, observational learning Empathy (e.g. showing you are compassionate toward others, giving compliments) Self-control (e.g. learning about emotions and regulation) BEHAVIOURAL SUPPORT STRATEGIES COGNITION-ORIENTED STRATEGIES SOCIAL SKILLS Cooperation (e.g. friendship skills, sharing, helping others, following rules and instructions) Self-assertion (e.g. introducing oneself, taking the initiative, resisting pressure) Responsibility (e.g. keeping agreements, turning down unreasonable suggestions from others) Tell someone when experiencing something difficult, unreasonable or uncomfortable MEASURES WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT – PART 2 Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 2.7 social an emotional competence RVTS Mid 00:00 / 02:35 «Social competence and social skills are important for children and young people’s developing relations with both peers and adults.» - VEILEDER UDIR, P.10 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse 2. SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE Education in social and emotional competency is the second component of the universal prevention of harmful sexual behaviour. In the core curriculum of the Knowledge Promotion Reform 20, social learning and development is described in Section 2.1: “Being able to understand what others think, feel and experience is the basis for achieving empathy and friendship between pupils (…). Everyone shall learn to cooperate, work with others and develop abilities within co-determination and co-responsibility” (Udir.no) Several programs have been developed for schools aiming to teach their pupils social and emotional skills. The programs used in prevention contain mostly the same topics and areas of competence (see Useful resources). Observational learning and reinforcing desired behaviour are central principles, based around the idea that changes in children’s behaviour happen through changes in the behaviour of significant adults. The teacher becomes an important role model in how to behave properly in a classroom, by themselves being a good example of such behaviour. DIFFERENT STRATEGIES Education in social and emotional competency can be based on different strategies:

MEASURES WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT – PART 3 Illustration: Jens A. Larsen Aas Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 2.8 Sex education RVTS Mid 00:00 / 02:58 3. SEX EDUCATION Sex education might be the most important component in the universal prevention of harmful sexual behaviour. Several subjects in the Knowledge Promotion Reform 2020 contain competence goals regarding sexuality and sexual behaviour, meaning this will be a topic throughout primary and secondary school. Positive relations and safety are requirements to educate about sexuality. Assured adults with a high competence in sexual behaviour can provide honest and precise answers, which is necessary to successfully convey the subject. Sex education should contain topics like love, emotions, identity, respect, values, boundaries and relations, birth control and diseases. Teachers have the rare chance to converse regularly with pupils on these topics. If the person teaching sex education is someone the pupils do not have daily contact with (i.e. the school nurse), the homeroom teacher should be present during the lesson and follow up on the subject afterwards. Some pupils will, due to cognitive and developmental issues, need customized learning and teaching arrangements to ensure they get something out of the education. The sexuality of teachers and pupils 2.8 The sexuality of teachers and pupils RVTS Mid 00:00 / 05:12 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse COMPETENCE GOALS IN SOCIAL STUDIES Grade 2: “The pupil should be able to discuss emotions, body, gender and sexuality, and how to express and respect their own and others’ boundaries” Grade 4: “The pupil should be able to discuss boundaries in relation to the body, what violence and sexual assault are, and where to go for help if one is exposed to violence and sexual assault” Grade 7: “The pupil should be able to reflect on the variations of identities, sexual orientations and gender expressions, and their own and others’ boundaries in relation to emotions, body, gender and sexuality, and discuss what actions one can take in the event these boundaries are broken” Grade 10: “The pupil should be able to reflect on how identity, self-image and personal boundaries evolve and are challenged in different social settings, and give suggestions on how to manage outside influences and unwanted acts” IMPORTANT TOPICS Values and attitudes Healthy and unhealthy sexuality What is okay and what is not Age of consent Boundaries/private areas How to be a good romantic and sexual partner It’s okay to say no! Image sharing and social media Sexual identity Consequences of sexual assault – for both parties Pornography (fiction and reality) Read a transcript of the audio recording I think teachers run the risk of becoming a meaningful adult to many pupils, and many pupils experience difficult things and seek the support of an adult. It may be a bad situation at home, problems with the friend group – anything really, including sexuality and stuff surrounding sex. A professional adult being responsible for children should, in my opinion, be there for pupils voicing their troubles, and I include sexuality in that. Our values and attitudes affect our actions, thoughts, and reactions upon meeting something, as well as what interventions we choose to enact in those meetings. I think it beneficial to be somewhat aware of what values and attitudes you possess, and how they affect you. Well, we probably aren’t aware of every belief we hold, but for example: what is your stance on homosexuality? Where do you stand in regard to questioning sexual orientation? What about testing things out, both as an adolescent and as an adult? Friends with benefits? Sex reassignment surgery? I’m just throwing these out to get a reaction, obviously. The point is different people have different reactions, which in turn are based on their values and attitudes. How you respond to children wondering the same things hinges entirely on how aware you are of your own stances, I think. I think good values and attitudes to have are things like valuing openness over closing off. Answering a child with “I don’t know this, but I’ll look into it for you” rather than silence, for example. This ultimately affects how or if you talk about sexuality, too. Teachers in conversations with pupils probably feel obligated to answer even though they don’t know the correct response to a question. “What can I say to this?” Is it alright to be a little personal, or are you expected to be personal? It’s difficult to know. The point is not for all teachers to be capable of having lessons on sex at a moment’s notice, but rather be an adult capable of dealing with a child or adolescent asking for help about a difficult situation. It is important to handle these situations delicately, whether the trouble is at home, in the friend group, or has to do with sexuality. Responding with deflection, minimizing, or signaling to the child that this is not something to speak about, is bad, in my opinion. A better, healthier response would be “we’ll tackle this together, I’m very happy you chose to tell me, now let’s see what we can do about it”. This response is healthy and also respectful towards the child. The digital world is constantly evolving – last year it was TikTok and Snapchat, who knows what will happen next year. I personally find it really hard to follow the trends, as an adult. Nils: I gave up a long time ago. Steinar: You’re definitely not the only one, haha. However, I don’t think we should endeavour to always be on top of the trends and know everything that goes on. If we instead focus on being adults children can come to with anything – including difficult things – it will be easier for the children to approach us when they need to.

BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS Boys commit the majority of sexually harmful acts, but girls also commit them. For some girls the problems are more hidden and taboo. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 5.3 Both boys and girls RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:12

CARING FOR THE VICTIM A child or young person who has been exposed to harmful sexual behaviour has lost a piece of themselves and needs help to reclaim their safety. Assure the child/adolescent by telling them you are there to care for and help them. Listen to the child and let them lead the conversation. Ask open questions and document questions and answers. Include a professional, e.g. the school nurse or BUP. Keep the child informed of what is happening. Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 6.6 Caring for the victim RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:32 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

THE TRAFFIC LIGHT CAN HELP US DIFFERENTIATE – PART 2 LECTURER Birgit Hegge is a clinical social worker with a master’s degree in social subjects. She is also an educated specialist in sexological counselling, with approval from the Nordic Association for Clinical Sexology (NACS). She specializes in violence and sexual assault due to her many years of experience with mental health and child welfare. Hegge is a proponent of the prevention aspect of good sexual development and health. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse The Traffic Light is a framework for understanding sexuality, sexual development and how this is expressed in children and young people. In other words, the Traffic Light is meant to raise awareness of sexuality being an important part of children’s development – as important as language, for instance. It is also a tool to help us differentiate between healthy and problematic expressions of sexuality. Why is this important? In my experience, sexuality in children makes adults uncertain. We’re uncertain of what we see, what we should say, and how to react in the face of a child’s sexuality. We might just say nothing, reject or scold the child, resulting in the child not receiving the support and guidance they need. When it comes to sexuality, children need guidance and support just like in other aspects of life, and help to develop good sexual health as well as a healthy view of their own body. How does the Traffic Light help? Well, many adults report just reading it helps clarify what behaviours are acceptable. The Traffic Light is divided like the name indicates; in the colours green, yellow and red. The green light is the “go”-signal in traffic, and in this framework describes what a natural, healthy sexuality looks like. Now, if the child doesn’t show their sexuality, this is okay too. We are all different people, and not all children put their sexuality on display. At the green level, the child requires positive attention and support from you. The yellow light in traffic tells you to slow down or stop – or to get ready to drive. The same applies to yellow sexuality; you need to figure out what is happening. Are all the children fine? Do they find what’s happening acceptable? You have to find the answers to those questions; speak with the children, help them figure it out, ask them about their thoughts. Sometimes children need help with figuring out different ways to do things, and sexuality is no exception. Help them to adjust, find other ways, be more aware of everyone else’s boundaries. They need help with understanding and recognizing if they themselves are okay with what is occurring. If children don’t learn to recognize and enforce their own boundaries, they may have difficulties understanding how others can be uncomfortable. The red light means “stop”, both in traffic and in regard to sexuality. If the behaviour is red, you, the adult, must intervene immediately. This is why many people actively use the Traffic Light, either with fellow personnel or other acquaintances; they get to talk about it and read through the different categories, both colour and age group. The Traffic Light describes the different levels of age well, including what to expect and what sexuality in those ages looks like. However, such a framework can’t account for everything, and talking to other people reveals how humans are all different people with different boundaries. Adults are no exception, and we all react differently in the face of others’ sexuality – especially the sexuality of children. If you discuss it – preferably with your staff group – you can find out what this all means to you at your kindergarten/school/place of work, and how your institution should operate. You can together decide where the boundaries are, and why. What do you react to, and what don’t you react to? What keeps you from reacting in situations where you should have? If this has been discussed beforehand you can also create a strategy for how to act if a child expresses their sexuality in an unacceptable way. In addition, you can agree on a method of speaking to the child about sexuality. When we discuss the validity of our thoughts we become more assured, more open, and we appear more concise to children – and if we are clear and concise, children become assured as well. They receive the guidance, training and support they need to develop a healthy sexuality. This is the foundation of good sexual health; positive development, lots of joy, and healthy sexual common decency. Birgit Hegge, høgskolelektor VID, fakultet for helsefag. Vis teksten Spilletid: 7:15

5. HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR Harmful sexual behaviour is harmful both to the child exposed to it and the child inflicting it, and requires an immediate response from adults. Harmful sexual behaviour is an umbrella term for behaviour we classify as non-normative and non-acceptable sexual behaviour. It is usually characterized as being excessive, secretive, violating, forceful, regressive or threatening. In this chapter we give you insight into general statistics about harmful sexual behaviour, different causes of the behaviour, as well as suggestions on how to look after both affected parties. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse PAGES IN THIS CHAPTER CHARACTERISTICS OF HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR IN CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE WILL NOT REPEAT HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS ALREADY KNOW EACH OTHER DIFFERENT CAUSES FOR THE BEHAVIOUR CARE FOR BOTH PARTIES INVOLVED REPORT AND INVESTIGATE HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR ONLINE

Write a short title If a 3-year-old is fiddling with their genitals, I view it as... A: Typical of their age-group Correct! In situations where others are bothered, have the child do another, more appropriate activity like drawing or playing with a ball. B: Atypical of their age-group, and tell the child to stop doing it Wrong. It is natural for a 3-year-old to fiddle with their own genitals, but in situations where others are bothered, have the child do another, more appropriate activity like drawing or playing with a ball. Children need to be taught boundaries, even for a natural sexual activity. C: Typical of their age-group, and the child should be able to do this unobstructed no matter the situation Wrong. It is natural for a 3-year-old to fiddle with their own genitals, but in situations where others are bothered, have the child do another, more appropriate activity like drawing or playing with a ball. Children need to be taught boundaries, even for a natural sexual activity. Avgitt svar A preschooler’s knowledge about body and sexuality is usually… A: Concrete and simple Correct! Preschoolers have a simple and concrete understanding of body and sexuality, like that girls and boys look different or that mothers give birth to babies and fathers help make them. B: Extensive and precocious Wrong. Preschoolers have a simple and concrete understanding of body and sexuality, like that girls and boys look different or that mothers give birth to babies and fathers help make them. A more reflected and mature understanding of their own body and sexuality is developed throughout the adolescent years. C: Reflected and modern Wrong. Preschoolers have a simple and concrete understanding of body and sexuality, like that girls and boys look different or that mothers give birth to babies and fathers help make them. A more reflected and mature understanding of their own body and sexuality is developed throughout the adolescent years. Avgitt svar Mark the answer you associate with healthy sexual playing A: Voluntary, spontaneous, can happen between all genders, characterized by curiosity, ends when one is tired of playing B: Characterized by secrecy and discomfort, girls are mainly “just along for the ride” C: Playing happens often and lasts for a while, is characterized by feelings of shame, anxiety, pain and compulsion Avgitt svar The median age of girls having intercourse for the first time is… A: Age 16 It is age 17, meaning half of girls over the age of 17 have not had intercourse. B: Age 17 It is age 17, meaning half of girls over the age of 17 have not had intercourse. C: Age 18 It is age 17, meaning half of girls over the age of 17 have not had intercourse. Avgitt svar The median age of boys having intercourse for the first time is… A: Age 16.5 It is age 17.5, meaning half of boys over the age of 17 and a half have not had intercourse. B: Age 17.5 It is age 17.5, meaning half of boys over the age of 17 and a half have not had intercourse. C: Age 18.5 It is age 17.5, meaning half of boys over the age of 17 and a half have not had intercourse. Avgitt svar How many boys aged 13-14 report having seen porn on the internet? A: 10% Wrong, the correct number is 50%, and taken from the Children and media-study from 2020. B: 50% Wrong, the correct number is 50%, and taken from the Children and media-study from 2020. C: 80% Wrong, the correct number is 50%, and taken from the Children and media-study from 2020. Avgitt svar How many girls aged 13-14 report having seen porn on the internet? A: 10% Correct, the number is taken from the Children and media-study from 2020. B: 50% Wrong, the correct number is 10%, and taken from the Children and media-study from 2020. C: 80% Wrong, the correct number is 10%, and taken from the Children and media-study from 2020. Avgitt svar What genre do you think porn is first and foremost? A: Tragedy or comedy Wrong: We believe porn is entertainment, made first and foremost to get people sexually aroused. This makes porn unqualified to provide reliable information on what sexuality and sexual relations actually are. B: Entertainment Wrong: We believe porn is entertainment, made first and foremost to get people sexually aroused. This makes porn unqualified to provide reliable information on what sexuality and sexual relations actually are. C: Educational Wrong: We believe porn is entertainment, made first and foremost to get people sexually aroused. This makes porn unqualified to provide reliable information on what sexuality and sexual relations actually are. Avgitt svar What effect does masturbation have on preschoolers? A: It has a calming effect Correct: Masturbation usually has a calming effect on young children. As children grow up they will begin to feel more desire in relation to masturbation. B: It has an arousing effect Wrong: Masturbation usually has a calming effect on young children. As children grow up they will begin to feel more desire in relation to masturbation. C: Masturbation can lead to aggression in young children Wrong: Masturbation usually has a calming effect on young children. As children grow up they will begin to feel more desire in relation to masturbation. Avgitt svar When should you not worry about an adolescent masturbating? A: When they masturbate in inappropriate situations Wrong B: When they masturbate so that their genitals become sore At times adolescents masturbate both often and a lot, which makes it difficult to say what we definitively think is the correct amount. Therefore, we are the most concerned with whether the masturbation negatively impacts the adolescent’s normal life, like relations with family and friends, school and after-school activities. One also needs to see if the adolescent uses poor technique and becomes unnecessarily sore, or if there is coercion involved. There are some adolescents who masturbate in inappropriate situations and places, and these are important to address. C: When they masturbate 5 times a day At times adolescents masturbate both often and a lot, which makes it difficult to say what we definitively think is the correct amount. Therefore, we are the most concerned with whether the masturbation negatively impacts the adolescent’s normal life, like relations with family and friends, school and after-school activities. One also needs to see if the adolescent uses poor technique and becomes unnecessarily sore, or if there is coercion involved. There are some adolescents who masturbate in inappropriate situations and places, and these are important to address. Avgitt svar View More SUBJECT-RELATED QUESTIONS, CHAPTER 2 ABOUT THE QUESTIONS Here you have the opportunity to test yourself in the subject you just finished by answering 10 questions. The questions will indicate if your answers are correct or not, and provide a deeper explanation once you have answered. You do not need to register, and no user data will be saved. You can answer the questions as many times as you would like. Begin Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

APPENDIX 2 EXAMPLE OF HOW TO MANAGE PROBLEMATIC SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR IN LOWER SECONDARY SCHOOL In grade 8 at a secondary school there were a lot of pupils using sexualized and violating language toward each other, and a group of boys especially liked to initiate it. This usually affected the girls in the class, but would sometimes affect a few of the boys, too. The contact teacher expressed that he didn’t get to spend enough time with the pupils, and felt conflicts and violating behaviour weren’t dealt with properly as a consequence. Multiple other teachers went into the same class, but said the pupils neither listened to them nor followed the rules they made during lessons, resulting in many warnings being issued. A lot of parents started contacting the school with concerns about the classroom environment, and several of the girls wished to change schools/classes. Finally the contact teacher called the local consultation team to discuss the sexualized language used in the class. He was advised to contact the Child Welfare Service for guidance and an assessment of the classroom environment, in addition to PPT for help with systemic change. The teacher, the Child Welfare Service and PPT then agreed on the importance of working both individually and systemically. The Child Welfare Service and PPT held a meeting with available resource persons at school (contact teacher, school social worker, school nurse and management) to create an overarching plan for changing the classroom environment. The Child Welfare Service assisted the resource persons with assessing concerns around individual pupils. They also looked into the class dynamics along with PPT. It turned out several of the pupils were struggling for various reasons and not receiving treatment. Some of them had trouble academically and couldn’t keep up with academic progression, others dealt with poor conditions at home. This insight resulted in supportive measures being implemented in a few families by the Child Welfare Service, and individual assessments from PPT. The resource persons were in addition tasked with creating concise guidelines and structures for every teacher coming into the class to ensure a general and predictable approach towards every pupil. The teachers were all to focus on building trustful relations with the pupils and model the kind of communication wanted in a classroom. The contact teacher would get some time freed up in his schedule every week to talk more with the pupils who needed it. The social teacher did the same thing. The school nurse and contact teacher spent time regularly holding lessons on sexuality, relations and boundaries, and consulted with the pupils to emerge at a set of guidelines for everyone to follow. The rest of the school, in turn, focused extra on the guidelines at the orders of the management, and this was communicated at assemblies and to guardians. All the teachers involved with the class regularly met to ensure coordination and update each other on what was going on. After a while teachers, guardians and even pupils discovered the bad language had disappeared, and the environment in the class had noticeably increased. Illustration: Jens A. Larsen Aas Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 7.3 Appendix 2 Example from lower secondary school RVTS Mid 00:00 / 03:20 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

MEASURES WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT – PART 1 General classroom measures anchored in class leadership, social and emotional competency and sex education form an important basis for preventing problematic and harmful sexual behaviour. Therefore, the measures highly resonate with existing programs and focus areas in schools, and are based around teachers’ important role and position in the classroom. «Relations between pupils and teachers are important to develop social competence.» - VEILEDER UDIR, P. 26 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse «Make it possible to give the child/young person positive feedback and information.» - THE TRAFFIC LIGHT Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 2.6 Measures wich promote healthy sexual development - part 1 RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:28 1. GOOD CLASS LEADERSHIP Nordahl & co. (2005) present relation-oriented and proactive class leadership as important conditions to prevent unwanted behaviour. In addition, the relation between teacher and pupil is one of the factors most affecting learning outcomes (Hattie, 2009) as well as the pupil’s mental health (Drugli, 2011). The principles of relation-oriented and proactive class leadership make it possible for the teacher to be present for every pupil. RELATION-ORIENTED CLASS LEADERSHIP Get to know the pupil as an individual Greet every pupil Use names Listen/acknowledge Physical touch (i.e. a tap on the shoulder) Eye contact Give praise and positive attention Show interest by asking about what they do in their spare time, hobbies, etc. Do nice things, e.g. play games Be humorous Share things about yourself (be a little private) NB! Spend time building a relation to parents/caregivers PROACTIVE CLASS LEADERSHIP Predictability The pupils are familiar with rules and routines The teacher praises positive effort and behaviour The leader of the class gives good, clear instructions Well-thought-out physical frameworks Well-thought-out structure and organizing (Examples inspired by Webster-Stratton (2005) and Bergkastet & co. (2009)).

SEXUAL PLAYING SEXUAL PLAYING Children often play games in which they explore their sexuality. They can play alone or with others. It is normal for children to explore their own body and touch their genitals. The way adults react upon learning this – their choice of words, tone and facial expressions – help shape how children understand and feel about sexuality. It is important to acknowledge children’s sexual exploration as it helps them get to know their own body, and better establish and respect boundaries. Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 2.2 Sexual playing RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:33 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

DUTY TO PROTECT When children and young people display sexual behaviour capable of harming others or themselves, the adults have a duty to react and provide help and necessary protection. Some children and young people are vulnerable and more liable to be exposed to or develop unacceptable sexual behaviour. This can be children with different disabilities, children who have been exposed to violence, assault or neglect, children from low socio-economic conditions, or children with skewed development or socialization. Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 3.4 Duty to protect RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:34 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

APPENDIX 3 Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 7.4 Appendix 3 Caring for the victim RVTS Mid 00:00 / 01:47 CARING FOR THE PERSON EXPOSED TO SEXUAL VIOLATIONS OR ASSAULT For someone who has been the victim of an assault it is crucial to be seen and believed. For that reason it is important to create a space where this person can decide for themselves what they wish to convey. Do not force anyone to go into detail. The “headlines” are usually enough. Tell the pupil you are glad they told you of the event(s), and that you want to help them so this never happens again. Different people should be in charge of supporting the child exposed to violations or assault, and the adolescent who inflicted the violations or assault(s). Provide comfort and support. Be attentive and ask open questions. “Tell me more about it” is often nice encouragement. Inform the child they can also receive help from the school nurse or a psychologist, to name a few. Document questions and answers after speaking with the child. This can come in handy when planning how to follow up later. It will also be important to the Police if the event is being reported. Don’t promise the pupil you will keep what they tell you to yourself. You can only decide if you should proceed with involving more people after having heard the pupil’s account. There is also a chance of your duty to avert coming into play. If you need to involve other agencies, always let the pupil know what you are doing and why you are doing it. In the case of a police report, confer with the Police to find out what you can tell the pupil, and when. However, do not let this hinder you from being a steady source of support for the child or young person. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse