DUTY OF CONFIDENTIALITY As a public employee in either a school or after-school-program you have a mandatory, statutory duty of confidentiality, the basis of which is the ban against providing information on children and parents to third parties. There are, however, several limitations making it possible to cooperate with others to follow up on children and pupils: Cases can be discussed anonymously. You may ask for consent. If the person with the right to confidentiality agrees to giving the information to someone, the duty of confidentiality is rescinded for as long as the agreement lasts. Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 1.5 Duty of Confidentiality RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:40 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

2. NORMAL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR Healthy and normal sexual behaviour is spontaneous, curious and pleasurable. The behaviour should be reciprocated and equal in age, size, maturity and cognitive functioning. Sexuality is part of being human, and is in development from you are born, until you die. The sexuality of children is characterized by curiosity and exploration, and can not be compared with the sexuality of adults. Children express their sexuality in many ways; through language and touch, exploration of their own or someone else’s body, sexual activity, play and interplay. In this chapter you will find measures which promote healthy, sexual behaviour, a video lecture by Oddfrid Skorpe on the subject “Sexual joy and achievement”, audio reflections by psychology specialist Steinar Hvål on adults and their responsibilities in children’s sexual development, and a reflection around teachers’ and pupils’ sexualities. Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse PAGES IN THIS CHAPTER SEXUAL JOY AND MASTERY SEXUAL PLAYING KNOWLEDGE AND SAFETY GENDER AWARENESS ORIENTATION MEASURES WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT – PART 1 MEASURES WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT – PART 2 MEASURES WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT – PART 3 MEASURES WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT – PART 4 SUBJECT-RELATED QUESTIONS

CARING FOR THE CHILD OR ADOLESCENT DISPLAYING HARMFUL SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR Children and young people who have displayed harmful sexual behaviour are in danger of being excluded by those around them and feeling self-hatred. They usually have a complicated and vulnerable past, and as equal a need as the victim to be cared for. They need reassuring adults who are interested in trying to understand the root of the behaviour, and who make it clear they want to help the child with their struggles. The correct way to speak depends on the age and function of the child. Keep them informed of what is happening. Illustration: Jens A. Larsen Aas Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 6.7 Caring for the child or adolescent displaying harmful sexual behaviour RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:36 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

SAFETY, RELATIONS AND REGULATION Research into the needs of children and young people who have been exposed to hurtful experiences or grow up in unhealthy conditions, shows the importance of safety, positive relations, and assistance with regulating emotions, impulses and behaviours in order to promote growth, development and learning (Howard Bath, 2009). Do keep in mind that these three areas describe fundamental needs for all children, and create good classroom- and learning environments when implemented in school. Illustrasjon: Jens A. Larsen Aas 1. SAFETY Feeling safe is the most important thing in children’s lives. They need adults they can trust in their lives. Safe attachments provide protection and promote growth (Kvello, 2015). What constitutes as “safe” differs between individuals and depends on prior experiences. Some pupils have reactional patterns that may seem irrational, overly dramatic, unpredictable and disrupting. Reactions like these can be understood as expressions of pain, and be rooted in emotions the pupils have yet to master. Expressions can be both outward (shouting, swearing, running away, etc.) and inward (acting passively, being quiet or rejecting, etc.). Increased safety can be achieved by having at least one adult who meets the child’s emotional needs; someone who supports the child, is understanding and helps regulate negative emotions. 2. RELATIONS All children and young people are in need of positive, long-lasting relations. The relation between teacher and pupil is imperative for pupils’ learning and well-being (Hattie, 2009), and has a big impact on emotional, cognitive and social development. Relational competency in schools is about the staffs’ attitudes toward children and young people, and being conscious of your own behaviour and emotional expressions in the face of different pupils’ behaviour. Professional competency and relational competency complement each other and help you see every individual pupil’s needs, emotions and academic potential (Lund, 2017). 3. REGULATION AND CO-REGULATION Emotions are the driving forces behind our actions, and we need to look past those actions to understand what causes them. The child’s ability to self-regulate is shaped by the sensitivity they are shown by their caregiver(s) (Kvello, 2015). Children who are assisted with regulating hurtful or difficult emotions and verbalizing their experiences, are also being trained in how to self-regulate their emotions. However, safety and positive relations are prerequisites to working with regulation of behaviour. Many children have not learned how to comfort themselves and need adults who can “co-regulate” them when emotions become overwhelming. One of the most important aspects of this is to not exercise any of your power or control over the child, but rather be an attentive listener, accept frustrations and support the child’s self-regulation, and adjust when necessary. A lot of children find it helpful to stimulate their senses, either to calm down or to liven up, for instance by listening to calming or energetic music. LECTURER Kristin Larsen is a special education teacher at Lianvatnet school, a school department in BUP (Division of Mental Health Care, Department of Children and Youth). She has extensive experience with children and young people who display problematic behaviour in school. She has also worked as both principal and education inspector, and has further education with subjects from the master’s program “Children and young people’s mental health and child welfare” from NTNU. In addition to educating, assessing and evaluating she provides counselling and competency training for school employees. RESSURSER Book: Barn, vold og traumer. Møte med unge i utsatte livssituasjoner (Bok) Øverlien, C., Hauge, M. I., & Schultz, J. H. (Red.) (2016), Universitetsforlaget https://www.universitetsforlaget.no/barn-vold-og-traumer-1 Book: Folkehelse og livsmestring i skolen Ringereide og Thorkildsen, RVTS South, PEDLEX. https://www.pedlex.no/artikkel/flm19/folkehelse-og-livsmestring-i-skolen/ Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 1.2 Saftey, relations and regulation RVTS Mid 00:00 / 00:39 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse The pupils we meet in school all have different pasts and experiences. Some have been raised in a safe and caring environment which stimulates healthy regulation and development, while others have not. Schools have an important task in this area; we are to ensure every child experiences a safe environment at school. Most children are safe, but not all of them have grown up in a safe and caring environment. Being exposed to hurtful experiences can also lead to skewed or delayed development. Carrying such burdens makes children vulnerable and affects their brain and ability to regulate. These children especially are in need of being seen, safe, and having a positive relation. Safety is the most important thing in a child’s life, and a meaningful and safe adult – a teacher, for instance – can greatly affect the future of the pupil. Safety is the foundation for all good relations, and this also applies to children. However, the pupils most in need of safety and a positive relation are often some of the most difficult to get close to. They can reject us, be in opposition, and wish to not be in contact with us. All teachers care about having good relations with pupils, but if the pupil is unregulated, physical, has outbursts, spits on us, insults us or violates others, working on that relation becomes exceedingly difficult, and takes a long time. I once had to spend six months building a relationship with a pupil before we felt safe around each other. But this is worth it, we have to be patient and endure opposition. Our task is to like every pupil. We have to turn the negative interplay around. The behaviour displayed by a pupil can evoke negative emotions in ourselves, and we need to be extremely aware of this. Building a relation and safe environment is perhaps especially important in regard to the pupils who violate others sexually. I am aware that schools have emphasized safety and relations for the last 20 years, and we might be tired of hearing about it, but when we are working with sexuality it is incredibly important to talk about. We can easily become uncertain, feel discomfort or disgust when we hear about pupils violating other pupils, but seeing past that behaviour is paramount. Safety and a relation are therefore prerequisites to aiding the pupil with their regulation. Kristin Larsen, Pedagog, Trondheim kommune. Show transcript Duration: 3:31

SPEAKING WITH CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE ABOUT DIFFICULT SUBJECTS When in conversation with children displaying problematic sexual behaviours it is important to ask how they are doing, and to follow up on your own concerns by initiating more conversations. Adults must openly care and show interest by asking open questions, be reassuring and handle hearing the children’s stories; this is how you build trust. Children usually confide in people they explicitly trust, and this trust should be upheld to the best of your ability, despite sometimes needing the help of other adults to properly help the child, as well as the law mandating you take action to prevent violence and assault. Suggested conversation-starters: “You said something that caught my attention, could you tell me more about it?” “I heard what you said, what was it about?” “I have found out (describe clearly what it is). I would very much like to help you with this, but to do that I need to know more.” Check out www.snakkemedbarn.no RESOURCES Website: Snakke med barn A website providing you tools and methods on how to talk to children of different ages and life situations. http://www.snakkemedbarn.no/ Listen to a read-aloud version of the text on this page 4.1 Speaking to children and young people about difficult subjects RVTS Mid 00:00 / 01:06 Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

MEASURES WHICH PROMOTE HEALTHY SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT – PART 4 Illustration: Jens A. Larsen Aas RESOURCES Book: Børn og seksualitet Stevnhøj & Strange, 2016 https://boernogseksualitet.digi.hansreitzel.dk/ Book: Barna og seksualiteten Aasland, 2018 https://www.cappelendamm.no/_barna-og-seksualiteten-margrete-wiede-aasland-9788202616649 Book: Med hjerte for seksualiteten Hegge, 2018 https://www.hertervigforlag.no/butikk/med-hjerte-for-seksualiteten/ Website: Seksuell atferd A resource page about normal sexual behaviour and managing problematic and harmful sexual behaviour. https://www.seksuellatferd.no/ Website: Redd Barna - Jeg er her A website focusing on Redd Barna's (Save the Children) work to combat violence and sexual abuse against children. https://www.reddbarna.no/jegerher Website: RVTS Øst Website with relevant subject areas and tools regarding children and youth sexuality. https://www.rvtsost.no/verktoy/seksualitet-hos-barn-og-ungdom Previous Next Innholdsfortegnelse

According to international studies, what percentage of assaults against children are committed by other children and young people? Chapter 4 - Question 1 of 8 Next Previous Next A: About 80% B: About 30% C: About 10% Wrong. Correct! Studies show that between 30-50% of assaults against children are committed by other children and young people. We know this from self-reporting studies, criminal statistics and numbers from child welfare services and other agencies. Wrong. Avgitt svar

If a 3-year-old is fiddling with their genitals, I view it as... Chapter 2 - Question 1 of 10 Next Previous Next A: Typical of their age-group B: Atypical of their age-group, and tell the child to stop doing it C: Typical of their age-group, and the child should be able to do this unobstructed no matter the situation Correct! In situations where others are bothered, have the child do another, more appropriate activity like drawing or playing with a ball. Wrong. It is natural for a 3-year-old to fiddle with their own genitals, but in situations where others are bothered, have the child do another, more appropriate activity like drawing or playing with a ball. Children need to be taught boundaries, even for a natural sexual activity. Wrong. It is natural for a 3-year-old to fiddle with their own genitals, but in situations where others are bothered, have the child do another, more appropriate activity like drawing or playing with a ball. Children need to be taught boundaries, even for a natural sexual activity. Avgitt svar

Why do some children commit sexual violations? Chapter 6 - Question 1 of 9 Next Previous Next A: The reason children display harmful sexual behaviour is always mental or neurological issues. B: There can be many reasons why some children commit harmful sexual acts. C: Children displaying harmful sexual behaviour have themselves been abused Wrong. Correct! The reasons are often complex and multilayered. It can be the result of vulnerabilities, like having been exposed to trauma, neglect or other problems. It can also be surrounding influences (i.e. peer pressure, pornography, role models, their nurturing situation, etc.). Wrong. Avgitt svar

According to international studies, what percentage of assaults against children are committed by other children and young people? ​ Chapter 4 - Question 1 of 8 Next Previous Next A: About 80% B: About 30% C: About 10% Wrong. Correct! Studies show that between 30-50% of assaults against children are committed by other children and young people. We know this from self-reporting studies, criminal statistics and numbers from child welfare services and other agencies. Wrong. Avgitt svar

If a 3-year-old is fiddling with their genitals, I view it as... ​ Chapter 2 - Question 1 of 10 Next Previous Next A: Typical of their age-group B: Atypical of their age-group, and tell the child to stop doing it C: Typical of their age-group, and the child should be able to do this unobstructed no matter the situation Correct! In situations where others are bothered, have the child do another, more appropriate activity like drawing or playing with a ball. Wrong. It is natural for a 3-year-old to fiddle with their own genitals, but in situations where others are bothered, have the child do another, more appropriate activity like drawing or playing with a ball. Children need to be taught boundaries, even for a natural sexual activity. Wrong. It is natural for a 3-year-old to fiddle with their own genitals, but in situations where others are bothered, have the child do another, more appropriate activity like drawing or playing with a ball. Children need to be taught boundaries, even for a natural sexual activity. Avgitt svar

Why do some children commit sexual violations? ​ Chapter 6 - Question 1 of 9 Next Previous Next A: The reason children display harmful sexual behaviour is always mental or neurological issues. B: There can be many reasons why some children commit harmful sexual acts. C: Children displaying harmful sexual behaviour have themselves been abused Wrong. Correct! The reasons are often complex and multilayered. It can be the result of vulnerabilities, like having been exposed to trauma, neglect or other problems. It can also be surrounding influences (i.e. peer pressure, pornography, role models, their nurturing situation, etc.). Wrong. Avgitt svar